Bored

I'm bored with my work assignments. Some of it are interesting, but the interest died when I have to struggle alone to complete it. Sure I can work independently but I prefer working in a team so that at least I can exchange ideas on doing things instead of wasting my time looking for answers on problem that actually is a silly mistake. Maybe it's time for me to move on already. I don't really get what I wanted here. Most of my skills are like being wasted on trivial things and not where it matters the most.

I have my own targets and goals in my life and I would love to have a specific function and obviously not to be a multipurpose worker who can be disposed into things that I am not fond of doing. And what I hate most is when I say something based on my past experience on working on a similar thing, people just shrugged it off as if I have zero knowledge on it. Yeah you maybe better at codes and most system architectures than me but most of the time you missed out the small portions and features of it which could be critical for the system or could really ease the development. You can't just judge by using assumptions. It's like being jumpy on the gun when there is nothing really worth to shoot at. You'll be fucked up later because you're out of bullets while fantasizing that you'll hit the 'godfather' and gave fat chance to those small,trivial 'henchmen' to come up and ganged on you.

Maybe I'm still young, but i'm not a totally empty shell.
Mark my words.

Sesat di Kuala Lumpur

Sesat di Kuala Lumpur
Dosa dan pahala bercampur
Tapi kita perlu hidup
Kita perlu terus hidup

Terima kasih tuan dan nyonya
Doa sejahtera kami pohonkan
Pada Tuhan Maha Kuasa
Tuhan Maha Kuasa

Mungkin kita kan temui kebahagiaan
Di Kuala Lumpur
Dan mungkin kita akan kecewa
Mungkin kita akan jadi kaya dalam lumpur
Mungkin kita akan terpedaya

Mungkin ada jalan di Kuala Lumpur
Jalan bahagia
Mungkin kita akan kecewa
Mungkin kita akan jadi alpa serta lupa
Dan Mungkin kita kan terpedaya
Mungkin kita akan jadi kaya serta lupa
Mungkin kita lupa pada asalnya.

The pond at my company

Just to test the mobile blog feature of my new SE K770i
image is set to VGA mode.

Nation in crisis

tak tau nak kata apa dah. Semua Pak Lah punya pasal.
Petrol kat Malaysia ni naik 78 sen..gila apa..
gaji aku tak naik pon..camna nak survive?
nak bayar ptptn, insurans, nak kawen, beli rumah, beli kereta..
mmg langsung takde duit dah la..
this is what we get if apes and monkeys rule the country..
ingat rakyat bodo ka?
suruh rakyat ubah cara hidup..yg dia dan kroni2 tros lagi dgn hidup mewah..
cuba skali ko bayar petrol pakai duit sendiri, duk rumah teres n blablabla..
ni dgr citer nasi putih kosong pon dah rm1.50. gila btol.
camni ada je chance, mmg aku blah tros dari malaysia ni..
sedih mmg la sedih..tapi nak wat camne kalo dah takle nak survive..
skrg ni semua harga barang nak naik..
sikit2 nak compare dgn negara yg tak produce petrol..
patut harga petrol murah tu hak keistimewaan rakyat malaysia la sbgai warga negara pengeluar petrol..
tak paham aku dgn kpale otak monyet2 tu..

pening lagi..

I was really set look for another job in the next 2 months when today, my main boss came over my table, grab a chair and sat next to me.It was kinda weird as it was the first time. He asked me about the task he gave to me two weeks ago which I misunderstood of what he really wants. It was really simple and I thought that he wanted to see a working prototype. LOL.

Well, he was really satisfied to see that I actually did more than what he expected which is just the documentation. After he finished explaining the additional requirements, he told me of his plans for me.

He wanted to create a special division which consists of only me and my 2nd boss, Anselm to handle the modernization of the company's flagship product, Equity Online. My task is to implement web services and ajaxify the application where it is possible to meet the requirements to be Web 2.0 / SOA ready.


Darn, now I'm trapped with this guilty feelings again. As if my private life matter isn't enough.I'm in a dilemma.

Anyway, I found it funny that people keep on telling that it's hard to get a job in the IT field. I found through my experience that it was in the contrary. As I kept on receiving job offers from companies whether local or MNCs. One even called me all the way from Australia asking me if I'm interested to work at his place (which I would love to but then, I have to look after my ageing parents).

And to add more to my problems, I have a strong feeling to continue my studies to a further level. But right now my income doesn't really allow me to do so. I am really interested to get a master's degree in Software Engineering or maybe do a research on Distributed / Parallel Computing which is my actual main job here in this company (but sadly it was put on hold by MIMOS). Any financtial institution out there want to offer sponsorship for my studies?LOL.

Time's wasting..got to go..my moonlighting client is waiting at a mamak restaurant.

Torn within..

aku tak mahu menjadi lalang..
mudah condong ditiup bayu..

aku tak mahu menjadi pantai..
mudah berubah dihempas ombak..

tapi apa daya ku..

kelembutan sang bayu mempersona..
hempasan sang ombak manja meruntun jiwa..
dan aku..hanyut dibuai keindahan..
yg pernah hilang satu ketika..
sekonyong timbul kembali..
dengan munculnya sang dewi..
memarakkan semula bara yg hampir hilang bahangnya..

maafkan daku..

Vertigo

2 songs that was dedicated to me from someone that I thought was long gone and reappeared suddenly a few weeks ago after about 9 years..and with her appearance, she gave me a seriously mixed and messed up feelings...not to mention the shivers she sent down my spine...

KRU - Untukmu

Angin bayu membawa diriku
Sepintas lalu ku terkenangkanmu
Memori silam meresap malam
Kenangan bersama tersimpan selamanya

Walaupun kau pergi
Jauh dari diri ini
Cintaku masih bersemadi di hati
Keyakinan kita kan kembali
Menghidupkan semula
Janji bara cinta
Kita bersama mengejar mimpi
Terpisah sementara ku pasti
Suatu hari nanti
Cinta kita bersemi
Kembali menerangi
Mekar di taman hati
Walaupun jauh pandangan mata
Ku yakin kau kan tetap setia
Begitulah ku jua
Keikhlasan dijiwa
Dan cintaku hanyalah
Untukmu

Saban hari diri ku menunggu
Khabar berita darimu di sana
Gerimis senja kembali reda
Kerinduan di jiwa
Kau jadi penawar

Rinduku padamu
Tak dapat ku terkata
Setiap saat waktu
Bagai terlalu lama
Bila kita kembali bersama
Hiduplah semula
Janji bara cinta

Mimpi yang dikejar
Telah pun menjadi nyata..



Faizal Tahir - Aku Punya Kamu

Saat kau tersenyum
Saat itu kau memberi
Saat ku rasa bahgia

Selama ku tersenyum
Selama itu ku memberi
Selama yang kamu di sini

Namun ku bicara hanya pada
Bulan dan suria tak ku punya cara
Untuk menyatakan cinta

Dan kamu hanyalah satu
Ku mahu ada kamu saja
Bisaku menunggumu
Selamanya aku milikmu
Takkan pernah lelahku menunggu
Hingga aku punya kamu

Sesaat kau tiada
Saat itu yang ku rasa
Saat hidupku terlena

Selama yang kau ada
Selama itu ku yang rasa
Selama hidupku bahagia

Namun ku bicara hanya pada
Bulan dan suria tak ku punya cara
Untuk menyatakan cinta

Dan kamu hanyalah satu
Ku mahu ada kamu saja
Bisaku menunggumu
Selamanya aku milik mu
Takkan pernah lelahku menunggu
Hingga aku punya kamu

Selama yang pernah
Ku merasa belum ada rasa yang ku rasa ini
Fahamilah cinta ku lebih dari cinta
Tiada mungkin aku kan teruja
Andai bukan kamu yang di hadapanku
Bisaku buktikan pada kamu

Yang kamu hanyalah satu
Dan tak pernah lelah ku menunggumu
Hingga aku punya kamu
Selamanya
Aku milikmu
Takkan pernah lelah ku menunggu
Hingga punya kamu