Crossroads II

It's actually really tough to make a decision when the outcome is no longer a simple count size of 2.

What lies before me is quite difficult to weigh. Both with it's pros and cons and it seems hard to forfeit one path to pursue the other path.

One path is totally in my current interest. Both are actually in the list of my goals just that the other path was calculated to be not in the near future, but it seems that I reached both of them rather earlier than what I've pre-calculated and that is the dilemma I'm facing right now.

The first path, time flexibility and feeds my insatiable hunger for knowledge. The second path, power will already be at my command but of course, with responsibility and commitment. And both of them beckons me to choose either one.

I was set for knowledge, but the other path calls that I already have more than enough to be ready and that I will be most welcomed to walk through it should I choose to do so but the path won't be open for long.

"God never changes the state of a people until they themselves change their own situation." (Al-Anfal:53).

It would not be possible for me to reach this point in life, unless the above is true. Thank you Allah, for the blessings that you bestowed.

Crossroads

Sometimes I wonder how did I manage to hold on doing things that are not really of my interest. It's kind of puzzling myself. Well, I guess it could be because of the atmosphere, friends and colleagues.

December last year was real intense pressure that I ever felt. Going back to the office and face the shear terror and frustration of debugging someone else's messy code after a lot breaks in between surely kills my spirit.

And I reached my breaking point.

But somehow, it felt heavy to do this. Part of me struggles to break free. Another half wishes to stay and hope that it would somehow will turn out better.

But then, one by one, my comrades decided that it is also time for them to go off on their course for a better future. Memories are beautiful aren't they. I guess I have to firm my resolve then.

Cheers for friendship, memories and the future.

Silver linings..

This is my 1st post in 2010.

Nothing much happening except for the increasing level of stress and frustration. Job related especially. A hell lot of things happening currently that made me feel this way. I really hate changes or introduction of new stuffs that is required to be in the delivery of the product at the last minute. They should know that it is a very bad practice to do so as it causes unrest among those whose work depends on each other.

Another issue is if you are the one that worked on that particular task that introduced a new problem. You should be the one responsible to fix it. You are not supposed to pass your own mess to another and then keep on asking the person to settle it as soon as possible. Especially if the thing that you call working piece of code can be classified as not just spaghetti, but with shitballs too. Yeah you claim that it has all that nice pluggable features yada yada blah blah blah so on and so forth but does it ever crossed your mind that the thing should be simple and just get the job done? Have you ever heard of the principle of YAGNI?(You Ain't Gonna Need It). It's pointless to OVER ENGINEER something that could be done with just something simple. Be pragmatic about it please.

Anyway, rantings aside, I've decided I should leave soon. Sent my details to a friend and hope that his company will get back to me ASAP. They're working on web and enterprise applications development for a well known organization which sounds very interesting (Of course as my interest area is in the web and enterprise applications). Just hope that they wont suddenly start developing desktop applications as this is the thing that drives me crazy everyday. The most appealing part is that the work hours is super flexible. I just need to be at the office or site if there is a meeting or getting new task or delivering completed task. That way, I can work from anywhere I want. All these while I imagined myself working at my own pace and at any place that I wanted to. Starbucks?Coffeebean? McD? or just anywhere with an internet connection and a conducive environment. Mobile office for the win! As long as I can deliver, they promised they wont bother. Who needs Annual Leaves that way? Sounds really cool. But he mentioned that the other benefits that the company offer are sucky especially on the health and hospitalization coverage.

News flash! got a message in Facebook from my ex-supervisor during my industrial training at Celcom. He got one position for a System Analyst. We chatted a bit a few hours ago and he explained the responsibilities of the position. The person who holds the post shall be involved in the design of the system but NOT involved in the actual development? From the way it sounds, it's more like being a Product Owner to me. That would be cool. And he said that my expected remuneration is quite okay. The downside is, from past experience, commuting to work is horrible and work time is not that flexible. And I hope that if I ever offered the position and decided to take it, will it ever have something to do with coding? If not, that I might miss the joy of code writing.

Kinda confused on these two places. Don't really know what I want now. But anyhow, I'm grateful and happy. It's true then that reward came to those who persevere and patient.

Stand by my side and walk with me..

stay by myside and walk with me

i had enough of being lonely

aid me in my path choosing

in this life of many crossing

stay by myside and walk with me

the perfect person, i may not be

promise I made, to do my best

to put your fears down to rest

stay by myside and walk with me

together we'll create our own destiny

a place in this world for you and me

and forever we'll be for eternity

2009 Reflections..

It's been a while since my last entry. It's already near the end of 2009.

In less than 4 weeks to be precise. Reflecting back what have I achieve and lost throughout the year:

1. Got a new job at the end of 2008. Brilliant at first. asphyxiated in the later stages. It's not because of the management. It's the projects. I could say I have only interest in one. The other 2 (including the one I'm working on

right now is totally out of my preference list. Felt a bit cheated because during the interview, the questions are about web and enterprise technology.

But what I'm working on most of the time is coding desktop apps which is totally boring to me. Yeah it's Java but I'm more the business logic kind of guy that processes the data and interacts with the DB. Not the GUI designing kind of person. I prefer to work with things that matters which is the information itself, not the way it is represented. I guess I'm in the wrong place. My teammates are not that fun kind of people. I could say that they are nerds. always too serious about the work. (I know some people view me as a nerd too. But I view myself the contrary, I am a geek. although geeks have about the same traits as nerds do but we have a life and we know how to have fun ). And oh, the 'Ching Chong Ching Chong' speak too. Could you please show some respect and speak language that I can understand when I am around especially when I can hear my name mentioned in that 'Ching Chong Ching Chong' speak of yours? that is the main reason why I rather hang out with people on other teams than of my own. Seriously demotivated. If not for my understanding boss and encouragement from my dear, I would have left.

2. I decided to improve myself on the technical skills. Found myself to be quite outdated. well, currently Im looking forward to learn and study Design Patterns. Don't want to stay a 'duct tape programmer' or 'cowboy coder' forever. Need to learn 1337 developers knowledge. And oh, I've been studying Scala, Python and Ruby too. Ruby on Rails is packed with pure awesomeness I would say. If only I have some friends whom I could share with. But sadly, most of them are not into programming. too hard, boring, blablabla are the common excuse. If only they know that actually, it's not that hard. Well, for me, it's more like playing with puzzles except that you can devise your own solution to it. There is always more than one way to solve the whole problem. But then, I guess they're just aren't interested in intellectual challenging puzzles.

3. Well, I don't know if it is too early to say. But I guess I found my soulmate. A true one. Been with her for nearly 7 months. We had arguments but none falls into the serious category and I can say that I am really happy with her. It must be true of what people said that 'we met the worng partners in order for us to improve our weakness before we meet the right person'. Looking back on myself, I was the uptight kind of guy and easily angered. But all I do now is just take the matter as it is if there is nothing I can do about it. We already planned to get together next year. Hope that everything will work out fine.

There's a lot more that I would like to store here. Maybe next time.

My Personal Spring AOP notes

advice - a method that is called in a Spring classic AOP process.

• MethodBeforeAdvice - must implement the method before(Method method, Object[] args, Object target) throws Throwable on the proxy object before calling the actual object's method.

• AfterReturnAdvice - must implement the method afterReturning(Object returnValue, Method method, Object[] args, Object target) throws Throwable on the proxy object after calling the actual object's method.

• ThrowingAdvice - invoked when an exception defined in the method implementation of this interface is being thrown. The interface did not declare any method but to implement this advice, the method must match either afterThrowing( e) or afterThrowing(Method method, Object[] args, Object target).
  

• MethodInterceptor

pointcut - if we want to advise only some of the methods in an interface, the methods are called pointcuts. Advises will be applied only on these specific methods.

...

Am i going to leave this place?
What is it I'm running from?
Is there nothing more to come?
Is it always black in space?
Am I going to take it's place?
Am I going to leave this race?
What is it that I've become?
Is there something more to come?