a bucket of crapshit!

Seriously right now I'm really fed up doing this crap project.
I don't understand a damn thing of what the codes are about and I really feel like the times I'm spending on it are just a serious waste of time. A bucket load of shit.

Why the heck when I felt like I can start to contribute to the project without depending on another person, they just shove a new project to us. I'm tired and fed up with this kind of working style. I don't get the sense of accomplishment of finishing a project. Sigh.

Yes, I am flexible but not that kind of flexible where you can just shove me anything and expect me to gobble it up just like that.

Should I start to look around again? blerghhhh..

...

seeing sparks and glimpse of what could have been..
to nearly have it in my grasp..
but to have it all taken away..
and never to really have a taste of it..
so close..and yet so far..
i rather be dead..
than to be shackled to this awful dreaded place in this empty void..