There it is... again

Long hiatus.
Nothing to write for almost a decade.
Life is good so far.
Settled down.
Achieved a lot of things.
Missed a lot of things too.
Many things are treasured, proud.
Some things.. hmm, wish I could have done better.
Colorful thing it is this life of mine.
Reminiscing - the path chosen is fulfilling.


"Kapalı kapı yoktur. Yanlış anahtar vardır"

The culture of prejudice.

Ever since I developed this habit of observing people's behavior years ago, only a very tiny number of them earned my respect when it comes to judging and criticizing whereas the others are having this nasty personality rot to judge and criticize as if that they are so holy.

Some of those that have this disease realizes it but they never cared as long they get to their dose of people bashing. This type of people are the ones who aren't worth a while to have a constructive argument with. You can recognize them from their absence of any facts from their arguments, only bashing, speculations and hearsay.When presented with facts that they can no longer refute, they start to find fault within the person they are arguing with. Most of these types are young adults with still very immature thoughts.

Another type is the ones who are so lost in the illusion of self grandeur. They do have respectable ideals, generally do not disturb others but they are so lost within themselves. These type of people is the Ignorants. They're smart people but sadly, they are so full of themselves. Always claims that they read the history, studied the profiles and biographies of great people from the past but failed to read between the lines or maybe they just left some part out hoping that their counter arguer wouldn't know. They always view themselves as being superior for having the gift of intellect and views others who does not share the same ideals and philosophy as losers and have no respect for them. So lost within their ideals that they lost their connection with the other majority of minds in the society. When given a fact, they disregard and digress by connecting it out of the context to another 'might-be-related' fact. Always confused between personal gains as contributions to the society. Smart, but not smart enough.

I wrote this entry just to vent out my disappointment. Instead of only finding faults, bashing, labeling, name calling, why can't we look at the good side and provide solutions to the problems? Why can't we see and help bring out the actual shine within ourselves?

To those whom I have those wonderfully insightful and fulfilling arguments, I thank you very much. You know I appreciate those moments when I say 'Thank You' at the end of each session. You guys earned my respect. :)

2011 in review.

2011 is closing its curtains. A lot of events occurred that brought major changes in my life's course.

To summarize some of the memorable stuffs:

• Left a huge nonsensically chaotic corporate organization after a heated argument with a moronic asshole manager. XD
• Went on a trip to Indonesia, sightseeing and attending my sister's wedding reception ceremony. :)
• Joined an organization that is also dysfunctional but bearable due to the super flexible hours and remote working ability. :|
• My team lead resigned. Major demoralization. :(
• Went on a family trip to Cameron Highlands, BBQ and sightseeing. :)
• Bought a Playstation 3. Yeah, I'm so outdated. :)
• Bought a used Playstation Portable and gave it to my brother as his birthday present. :)
• Bought a new mountain bike - Scott Scale 60 2011. :)
• Bought a foldable bike - Dahon Vitesse P18 2011 and started cycling to work. :)
• Partnered with some good friends (my ex-team lead) to start up our own company. :)
• Ex team lead in Patimas joined the dysfunctional organization, but only lasted 3 weeks before resigning. Another major demoralization. :(
• Influenced someone to buy a foldable bike too. >XD
• Opening myself up by joining the cycling community. :)
• I was on TV! (although just interframing) XD
• Bought another Playstation Portable and gave it to my nephew for his UPSRA exam result. :)

Things to achieve in first few months of 2012:

• Quit the dysfunctional organization.
• Get something really rolling for my company.
• More community service perhaps?

Out of ideas. To be added more later. 

Mental fatigue

It's almost December. It has been a long journey and still on the road. Not sure if I lost my passion for the job. I keep on losing focus no thanks to all the super fast requirement changes and super tight schedule. It was a disaster for my life. The only thing I can think of right now is to hoard a lot of cash and invest in shares. I just want to relax and enjoy life. Alas, my business is still in its infancy. There's a lot more work to do to get thing really moving. This is 'The Climb' as what those business people say. Targeting to have a good relaxed life in 5 years time could be too constricting I guess. Maybe I should aim lower.

Or maybe I just need a really long vacation. In my mind right now is only beautiful sceneries of paradise like beaches, beautiful mountains with snow, great waterfalls and serene lakes. But then, to even have decent week of vacation to those places would cost a lot of cash.

I wish life is as simple as it was during the times of our forefathers.

sigh...

I've been thinking.

Lately I've been reading a lot of books on business and investments. We're not getting any younger and time flies so fast that by the time we realized it, it felt like what happened months or years ago just happened yesterday. The conversation that I had with Clarice's dad during lunch at The Curve last week really made me having serious thoughts about really starting my own business. The future is full with uncertainties but still, there's no harm trying.

I've seen an heard a lot of examples of successful people. Sometimes what they all did is so simple but really profitable. My idea is to start my own software development company or software consultancy. I know that I'm far from being a real technical expert like my software development idols or those people from the other side of the world but analyzing the situation from the people around me at my current job, I guess I'm more than good enough for the local market.

The main thing that is bothering me right now is the main focus or direction of the business. What kind of industry should I be really concentrating? At the current moment, analyzing on the current local market, my eye is currently set on the local private health industry. I noticed that most of the clinics (except for the hospitals) that I went to did not really have a computerized system for patient records management and inventory management. It's 2010 and they're still based on papers and folders. It would be great if those data can be managed and retrieved easily. Inventory restocking could be done with minimal effort and patient records from the illnesses and insurance coverage can be retrieved a lot more faster

Maybe I should just talk to my personal doctor when I visit her next time..

The grass aren't always greener on the other side..

It has been a week since I've joined this new organization. There's a lot of things that I am not satisfied with how they do things. They definitely could have done it better judging from the fact that they have the time to surf the net for non job related purposes. I only received my ID after a week of doing nothing. They gave me the laptop since the first day, but in order to activate the laptop, I need to have my ID and I've been carrying the machine around for a week without being able to use it. Talk about inefficiency.

I got cheated by the HR too. They mentioned that the Annual Leave is 15 days. But they never mention that there is about a week of forced leave during the end of the year for business closing because of Christmas. I don't celebrate Christmas and I do not need 1 week of holiday for it. Talk about being honest.

They promised me that the job will be as interesting and as challenging and the work environment would be as exciting as what I had in my previous company. But just after a week of being here, I don't feel excited at all, I found out that the job doesn't really need my deep technical skills and I heard from one of the colleagues that there will be no real programming task as the framework that they are using are already catering for that via the use of templates and what we are going to do are just plumbing. I really wonder why do they really need people with my knowledge around. Now this is just boring.

They told me that the organization have their own version of development lifecycle which is a mixture of Waterfall and Agile methodologies. I seriously went 'WTF?'. Those two cant even mix together as both are of different ideologies and different focus. Fine, they are derived and incorporated from Agile but seriously, you can't just say that you are using Agile. Adopting from Agile doesn't make it an Agile! and just by a glance I can tell that they are going against all four points of The Agile Manifesto. So, tell me, how can you say that you can call it Agile when you are going against the manifesto itself? Now, this is getting annoying.

Well, now, all I could say is I wished I never did all of this. I miss all the things that I enjoyed previously. I miss working with people that are smarter than me.

Well, lesson learned: no matter how big and prestigious is the organization, all of it are just talk unless they can really prove it. I guess the much more fatter pay doesn't really guarantee happiness at work. Well, I'm going to give it a chance and challenge myself whether I can change the mindset of at least my designated team. It's hard to work with people that doesn't share the same passion on software development.

I guess it is time..

to make the move.

It's been wonderful, colorful and beautiful. Going back a year before, I was really eager if I can go due to some difficult situation. But due to a difficult situation too, I am unable to leave. Forced to stay and face it. For a year, I endured the battle. I had my victory, I had my losses. I gained and lose comrades along the way.

I love the support and understanding of my leaders and comrades. I love the facility. I love the atmosphere. I love the fun that we all had along the campaign. Alas, the battlefield is still not to my favor. I felt out of place. I felt like a burden to my comrades. Although they told me it's alright, I still feel bad about it. I've done my best. But it seems that even my best is not good enough. Though my leader told me it's good to see that I'm getting better at things, I am still dissatisfied with myself. I wish I can do better. Still, I continue to endure and do my best to improve.

It's not that I'm saying that most of it is bad for me. I've learnt a great deal while serving the organization. I know now that I'm better and stronger than I was before. And though the battlefield was not in my favor, there was a lot of things that I've learned from mine and other's  mistakes and now, I know what to focus for in the future. I learned to trust people, and honor people's trust in me. I've made a lot of friends, much more than I ever had from the organizations that I previously served. I even found someone special while serving. For all of that, from the bottom of heart, I would like to thank everyone in the organization.

I have been seriously considering. Contemplating for 2 weeks. It's hard but eventually, I'll have to decide. And this time, for real, I choose to leave.

Thank you all for the best 1.5 years of my life.

Frustrations.

It's been three months of no actual news. Well, here I am again. Lots of things happened but let me just keep most part of it to myself.

I am still in the same company. Did not make the jump. Decided to refuse the offer from my ex-supervisor and the other company failed to get back to me on the offer letter. Asked my friend about it and he told me their HR dept are run by dumbasses. Well, I didn't know that my current income is near the limit for the post in most local companies. Did not know how they actually calculate that but in my opinion, if your employee benefits package falls short and you would say that the compensation I request for that is too high but seeing your upper management drives luxury cars, boasting that your company is listed in Fortune 500, I will conclude that your company aren't that great as you did not value your employees that much. There's no such thing as cheap but high performing workers. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys. My demand's too high? please evaluate your whole offer package against what I'm earning now. Experience and skills doesn't come cheap yo. It's not like I plucked the numbers from the sky. And so, I'm, going for other companies that can offer better and currently, there is this one of the giant MNCs that seems to be chasing me and my colleagues as we have quite the largest number of highly talented Java developers. Got a face to face interview on lunch time tomorrow. Had a phone interview on last Thursday which they asked me if I was googling the answers (yeah right, as if answering phone interview questions at my own desk is convenient with people all around you listening, I had to do it in the pantry as my battery is low and the pantry is the most private place that has a power point). The best news is, their project is web applications. That is relieving enough. I really need a break from this crazy desktop applications projects.

The govt keep on claiming that the economy is getting better but I would definitely disagree. Indeed that the MYR is getting stronger with the exchange rate being USD 1.00 = MYR 3.18. Yes, purchasing power for foreign items are increasing if you are buying over the internet but, for items that are available locally, the prices will never go down and the people's income wont be increasing either. It's one of the sad part of living in Malaysia, where the political leaders are always power hungry and full of corruption shit. Even the news reports that surveys found that MYR 3K is just barely enough to survive in the city of KL. I wish I could get to work overseas. In my views, out there is definitely better than here.

On another story, there's nothing much to say. The world is never fair. Life is never fair. And most of the times, I wish that..sigh..just forget about it..

Crossroads

Sometimes I wonder how did I manage to hold on doing things that are not really of my interest. It's kind of puzzling myself. Well, I guess it could be because of the atmosphere, friends and colleagues.

December last year was real intense pressure that I ever felt. Going back to the office and face the shear terror and frustration of debugging someone else's messy code after a lot breaks in between surely kills my spirit.

And I reached my breaking point.

But somehow, it felt heavy to do this. Part of me struggles to break free. Another half wishes to stay and hope that it would somehow will turn out better.

But then, one by one, my comrades decided that it is also time for them to go off on their course for a better future. Memories are beautiful aren't they. I guess I have to firm my resolve then.

Cheers for friendship, memories and the future.

Stand by my side and walk with me..

stay by myside and walk with me

i had enough of being lonely

aid me in my path choosing

in this life of many crossing

stay by myside and walk with me

the perfect person, i may not be

promise I made, to do my best

to put your fears down to rest

stay by myside and walk with me

together we'll create our own destiny

a place in this world for you and me

and forever we'll be for eternity

...

Am i going to leave this place?
What is it I'm running from?
Is there nothing more to come?
Is it always black in space?
Am I going to take it's place?
Am I going to leave this race?
What is it that I've become?
Is there something more to come?

Knowing...

You know, I mean c’mon I don’t really know whether you know or not. But I assume that you know instead of you don’t know.

You know. Yeah I know. But I can’t help to say that you know. I know it's annoying. But I know that you know. But you don’t show that you know. But you look like you know something..

but would it really matter to you knowing it ?

I think my statement made you curious to know what really I want to let you know…

Honestly, I don’t know…

I don’t know what would become of me. Without you knowing it. Not that I’m trying to get you to notice or that I want your attention. But it's just me. I want you to know. Like you want me to know…

But you know, sometimes things can never be the same. Not all things can turn back and go like it used to be but there is one thing sure do stay..standing still…strong sailing through this ocean of life without knowing the difference of day and night, hours to second. you know it will stay there…I know it's going to stay there…

There are always something we learned in everything that happened around us. You know that. I know that too. but do our hearts know it? it will just go to waste as time fly by…and the one we know going to stay will sail..continue to sail…

I don’t know if you know. But when I read it back. I don’t know whether it made sense or not. I know it is not that easy to put life back into the right track and march to the next destination but sometimes, you know, things you know that will happen, will happen someday. sooner or later

And still yet. I don't really know what I’ve wrote so far…

The universe has it’s own way to work. So do we. We know what needs to be done. And we do it at our best knowledge on how to do it…

but through all the "I-know-you-know" stuff. There is time in life you will feel like wanting to have it all. Then suddenly the table turns and everything seem not to be as it supposed to be. But life life goes on. Memories linger. What we have in the past you brought together and fight for the future…

I don't know if you know.
But I guess, I understand..

.....

Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit,

or because of Tree didn't ask her to stay?

serabut...

New year

I guess it's still not too late for me to wish Happy New Year to everyone.

I'm in the new office right now, relaxing after cramming some server configuration stuff inside my head. New year, new job, new life perspective and hope everything will be great for the year 2009.

2008 was good but not so great. It's been a rough year especially in the mid towards the end. Got caught in a serious personal issue that turned me upside down (don't ask and don't bother looking for it in this blog coz I never intent to write about it anyway) It's a new year by the way. What's done is done. Let bygone be bygones they say. I've recovered although not completely.

As it was before, I'm not going to make any new year resolutions as I already have my targets to achieve in check all the time. Having a target to achieve is essential to keep on advancing in this life and from my own experience, new year resolutions are unlikely to be fulfilled as we always have a change of mind and not to mention that shit always happens no matter how well prepared we are. I believe that we have to adapt to the situation no matter how hard it is and what is coming towards us.

Happy, sad, anger. Those are the things that made this life colorful and wonderful. A painting wouldn't look real if there is only bright and cheerful colors. Too much dark colors will only make it too sad and gloomy. This painting called "Life", should be a mixture of all the colors. That's what makes it beautiful and complete.

after a week of being jobless

seriously relieved at the beginning but seriously bored right now. LOL.
My daily activity most of the time is laying on my bed and sometimes on my computer chair for a while to select the next movie or tv series I wanted to watch or checking my downloads. believe it or not, in just a week, I've downloaded a whopping total of 95GBs of movies and tv series.

Now my body clock's gone haywire due to my movie and tv series marathon sessions. But tomorrow's gonna change. I'm going to hunt for my Raya clothes and check Midvalley's MPH or KLCC's Kinokuniya for a book that I've been hunting for so long. And maybe after that I'll take a tour back to MMU to meet Mat Jep as he told me that he have a freelance job and he want me in. At last! a freelance job after several months of zero challenge. Hopefully this will get me back in the freelance business.

Hmm. I wonder what color should I get for my Baju Melayu. Perhaps, gray like my new car?ah..forgot to mention I got my car last Saturday. My sales agent called me at 930am and I only had like 2 hours of sleep. Meon was at my house that night and we were playing DOOM 3 just to stay awake for the sahur with Salleh,FAB,Nisya and Dibot at Old Town White Coffee in Cheras. Spent the whole morning to afternoon at the tint shop to get my car tinted with security tints and to make things worse, I planned to go Iftar with my schoolmates later that eve. It was fun but I already felt like a zombie that time. LOL. After the Iftar my plan was to go back home and sleep while Hilmy, Apez and Meon rejoin the guys back at Ampang Park for the karaoke session but suddenly the three had a change of mind an instead I was obliged to follow them for a drink at Uptown Damansara. I slept until the afternoon next day (of course have to wake up for Subuh prayers and the sahur with my parents).

I need some sleep. My conciousness fading. so I'm signing off.

wisdom on words

Kita lahir dengan dua mata di depan wajah kita, kerana kita tidak boleh selalu melihat ke belakang. Tapi pandanglah semua itu ke depan, pandanglah masa depan kita.

Kita dilahirkan dengan 2 buah telinga di kanan dan di kiri, supaya kita dapat mendengarkan semuanya dari dua buah sisi. Untuk berupaya mengumpulkan pujian dan kritikan dan memilih mana yang benar dan mana yang salah.

Kita lahir dengan otak di dalam tengkorak kepala kita. Sehingga tidak peduli semiskin mana pun kita, kita tetap kaya. Kerana tidak akan ada seorang pun yang dapat mencuri otak kita, fikiran kita dan idea kita.Dan apa yang anda fikirkan dalam otak anda jauh lebih berharga daripada emas dan perhiasan.

Kita lahir dengan 2 mata dan 2 telinga, tapi kita hanya diberi 1 buah mulut. Kerana mulut adalah senjata yang sangat tajam, mulut bisa menyakiti, bisa membunuh, bisa menggoda, dan banyak hal lainnya yang tidak menyenangkan. Sehingga ingatlah bicara sesedikit mungkin tapi lihat dan dengarlah sebanyak-banyaknya.

Kita lahir hanya dengan 1 hati jauh di dalam diri kita. Mengingatkan kita pada penghargaan dan pemberian cinta diharapkan berasal dari hati kita yang paling dalam. Belajar untuk mencintai dan menikmati betapa kita dicintai tapi jangan pernah mengharapkan orang lain untuk mencintai kita seperti kita mencintai dia.

Berilah cinta tanpa meminta balasan dan kita akan menemui cinta yang jauh lebih indah.

Russell Watson - Faith of The Heart

It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me down

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, I’ve got faith, faith of the heart

It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I've finally have my day

And I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna change my mind

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, faith of the heart

I've known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine.

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith

I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, I've got faith, faith of the heart.

It's been a long road.

Politics

Haha..the current hottest issue in the media and among the people right now.
I still remember that I was ignorant of the issue. To me, politics are dirty and all that are related to it are nonsense and useless. I even became anti political talks during my 'younger' days.

But everything have changed since I graduated and joined the world of job. Ever since I got my job, my parents stopped giving me money for everything. It was expected of course and I had a little trouble to manage my finance during that time. I can say it is a little problem because previously during my studies, I've worked part time as a freelance technician and programmer to cover my living cost at the private learning institute. Doesn't bother me much during that period as my parents still give me pocket money.

Well, now I have to manage everything myself. Got to make plans for my future. Invested my money in unit trust, get an insurance and the next thing is to open a Tabung Haji account so that one day, I'll be able to perform the fifth pillar of faith; the Hajj. Not to mention that I have to save for getting myself a car and a house. And yeah, getting married will also going to cost me a lot of cash.

So what does all of these have to do with politics?
If we are observant enough, politics do have something to do with our life. For most of us, it will be so indirect that we wont really feel it. Only those that are really observant can see the relation between politics and our life.

Let me give an example, a crony of a political figure suddenly having trouble with his/her business, surely of course, the political figure will feel obliged to help. So where do you think they can get money easily from? The people's money of course! and mind you that the normally, political figures have families or cronies that are involved in businesses that deals with hundred thousands to billions of currency values. To cover that up, they'll start to increase the price, cut the subsidy for the people or 'stealing' funds from the any monetary institution that they control.
and then, it was really us who have to suffer for their losses.

That's not all. Now comes the racial issues. Every time the general election season comes, those political figures starts to threat the people with a long past history of tragedy which occurred nearly 40 years ago. In my views, come on! it's been 40 years. the young generations although some of us are a bit racist (still, thanks to their stagnant mind of their elders and political leaders) but I really don't think that we'll start to kill each other like they did during that time. I mean, hey, it was 40 years ago and during that time, yeah, the other races are outsiders and don't really understand the customs and the law of the natives. But this is 2008, nearly 40 years have passed and we lived with each other for so many long and surely have learn to work with each other. I myself have quite a number of friends of other races and I don't think I want to kill them just because of the ghost from the past.

Well, right now, i just hope that this is the dawn of the new Malaysia. And let this be a lesson for those who lose that they should not be arrogant and they should remember, it is the people who elected them to be leaders, and they should serve the people. Heck, we should change the term 'government servant' to 'the people's servant'. Having said that, they should know their actual place. In my views, that is what true democracy means.

Love vs Obsession

haha..some weird topic i have here..we profess that we love someone..but do we ever wonder is it really love that we feel or is it something else?some may say that love comes with obsession and it is quite the same thing..

But after all that I've had throughout my life..my opinion is that these two things are very different.

Obsession, is a state where we are being emotionally excessive and very selfish. We want to control the life of another, gaining happiness by doing all that we can so that the other person will do what we want exclusively for our own.

We 'romantically' chase, pursue - at times, even physically stalk - those we profess to "love." When we engage in relationships with new partners, we tend to be so possessive in our manner of "loving" that they inevitably run for the door to escape what they perceive to be an extremely oppressive and, essentially, unloving atmosphere.

If obsession=love, I rather not have it in my life at all. This is not loving. On the intuitive level, this is emotional obsession in its most dangerous and destructive form, so far removed from genuine love that we can't even categorize it as obsession due to the level of psychosis involved. Again, I highlight the word here..PSYCHOSIS.

Love, in my definition is when you want someone to be happy..with, or without you in the picture of their happiness. If we are genuinely in love with someone, we put their happiness before our own. We feel their pain, their sadness, their sorrow..We give the person all that we have just to make that person happy..even though we're not one of the active participants in their future lives.

We want these individuals to be genuinely happy as they live their lives - with or without us - because we are capable of truly loving them that much.

Loving, should be unselfish. Why? Well, if you really think that love is a sacred thing, then, it should be that way. How can we consider something selfish to be sacred? isn't that very much contradicting?

When we say, "I can't live without this person in my life," we aren't expressing love but instead, extreme dependency on another individual. We are obsessed and parasitic in the way we feel about that individual. We have focused the essence of our lives on the lives of our partners and are basically feeding off them as they pursue their own happiness in life.

We virtually have no identity for ourselves when we live this way. We are so focused on that partner and what he or she does in an attempt to be happy that we have no idea what it means to make ourselves happy. We are, plainly speaking, living our lives through the lives of others, which is a very unhealthy way to live.

Genuine love will never grow from such an unhealthy way of life, only greater dependency and deeper unhappiness is fostered in the end.

Love, is about sincerity. And sincerity means that we should expect nothing in return. Sounds foolish? but that, is what it truly means so to say. That, is what L.O.V.E means.

But then, people start asking, what about 'true love'? Well, that's easy. It's the love thing + commitment. Commitment means a pledge of trust. And this involves honor. when we pledge something, we put our honor into it. if we ever broke it, it means that we dishonor ourselves.

Love, is about being tolerant,sincerity,trust and respect..give and take..If you want true love..that's what you have to do..or else, you're not really loving someone..but in fact, you are treating them like some kind of thing which is the wrong meaning of love..at least in my opinion..haha..

Everyday..

And I..
Was the kind of guy..
Who'd never let you look inside...
I'd smile when I was crying...
I had nothing but a lot to lose...
Thought I had a lot to prove...
In my life, there's no denying..

Goodbye to all my yesterdays...
They're gone...
Goodbye, so long...

And I...
had enough of cryin'...
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'...
I'm Gonna live my life everyday...
I'm gonna touch the sky...
spread these wings and fly...
I'm gonna live my life everyday

Change, everybody's feeling strange..
Never gonna be the same...
Makes you wonder how the world keeps turning..
Life, learning how to live my life..
Learning how to pick my fights..
Take my shots while I'm still burning..

Goodbye to all those rainy nights...
They're gone..
Goodbye, so long...

And I..
Had enough of cryin'...
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'...
I'm gonna live my life everyday...
I'm gonna touch the sky..
And I spread these wings and fly..
I'm gonna live my life..

Hit the gas, take the wheel..
I've made myself a deal...
Ain't nothing gonna get in my way..
Everyday

Goodbye to all my yesterdays...
They're gone...

And I...
Had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'..
I'm gonna live my life everyday..
I'm gonna touch the sky..
And spread these wings and fly..
I'm gonna live my life everyday...