Well, whatever.

This new company that I serve is seriously messed up. Too many things that I'm not satisfied with to list here. I mean come on! It's been nearly a month since I worked here but I still don't have access to too many stuff that I should already have access to. The active id for example. Why the heck do I need to request access for it twice? And about the claim for my employment buy out process, why the heck does it says that I haven't keyed in my bank account details yet when I already keyed it in 2 days ago? Why do those people in india have to key in my bank account to another system? This is so inefficient and stupid.

You tell your employees that you value them but these things that you're doing really contradicts to what you just said. I really don't get why a lots of people wants to work here.

This place is so overrated.

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The grass aren't always greener on the other side..

It has been a week since I've joined this new organization. There's a lot of things that I am not satisfied with how they do things. They definitely could have done it better judging from the fact that they have the time to surf the net for non job related purposes. I only received my ID after a week of doing nothing. They gave me the laptop since the first day, but in order to activate the laptop, I need to have my ID and I've been carrying the machine around for a week without being able to use it. Talk about inefficiency.

I got cheated by the HR too. They mentioned that the Annual Leave is 15 days. But they never mention that there is about a week of forced leave during the end of the year for business closing because of Christmas. I don't celebrate Christmas and I do not need 1 week of holiday for it. Talk about being honest.

They promised me that the job will be as interesting and as challenging and the work environment would be as exciting as what I had in my previous company. But just after a week of being here, I don't feel excited at all, I found out that the job doesn't really need my deep technical skills and I heard from one of the colleagues that there will be no real programming task as the framework that they are using are already catering for that via the use of templates and what we are going to do are just plumbing. I really wonder why do they really need people with my knowledge around. Now this is just boring.

They told me that the organization have their own version of development lifecycle which is a mixture of Waterfall and Agile methodologies. I seriously went 'WTF?'. Those two cant even mix together as both are of different ideologies and different focus. Fine, they are derived and incorporated from Agile but seriously, you can't just say that you are using Agile. Adopting from Agile doesn't make it an Agile! and just by a glance I can tell that they are going against all four points of The Agile Manifesto. So, tell me, how can you say that you can call it Agile when you are going against the manifesto itself? Now, this is getting annoying.

Well, now, all I could say is I wished I never did all of this. I miss all the things that I enjoyed previously. I miss working with people that are smarter than me.

Well, lesson learned: no matter how big and prestigious is the organization, all of it are just talk unless they can really prove it. I guess the much more fatter pay doesn't really guarantee happiness at work. Well, I'm going to give it a chance and challenge myself whether I can change the mindset of at least my designated team. It's hard to work with people that doesn't share the same passion on software development.

I guess it is time..

to make the move.

It's been wonderful, colorful and beautiful. Going back a year before, I was really eager if I can go due to some difficult situation. But due to a difficult situation too, I am unable to leave. Forced to stay and face it. For a year, I endured the battle. I had my victory, I had my losses. I gained and lose comrades along the way.

I love the support and understanding of my leaders and comrades. I love the facility. I love the atmosphere. I love the fun that we all had along the campaign. Alas, the battlefield is still not to my favor. I felt out of place. I felt like a burden to my comrades. Although they told me it's alright, I still feel bad about it. I've done my best. But it seems that even my best is not good enough. Though my leader told me it's good to see that I'm getting better at things, I am still dissatisfied with myself. I wish I can do better. Still, I continue to endure and do my best to improve.

It's not that I'm saying that most of it is bad for me. I've learnt a great deal while serving the organization. I know now that I'm better and stronger than I was before. And though the battlefield was not in my favor, there was a lot of things that I've learned from mine and other's  mistakes and now, I know what to focus for in the future. I learned to trust people, and honor people's trust in me. I've made a lot of friends, much more than I ever had from the organizations that I previously served. I even found someone special while serving. For all of that, from the bottom of heart, I would like to thank everyone in the organization.

I have been seriously considering. Contemplating for 2 weeks. It's hard but eventually, I'll have to decide. And this time, for real, I choose to leave.

Thank you all for the best 1.5 years of my life.

What is wrong with university students nowadays?

Seriously, aren't you at least feel even the slightest shame when you post to forums asking freelancers to do your assignments or even worst your Final year project?

If you can't even be honest and professional about your current job (being a student that is) then just quit your studies. Don't waste your parents money or burden yourself with study loans.

I don't know about what others think but personally, do not ever ask me to do your projects/assignments no matter how much you offer. You know what? assholes like you guys are the cause for the deterioration of a university's image and make other honest people lives harder after graduation.

Seriously, I hope you guys just end up as pathetic as this one spammer that never fails to spam my comments with his stupid pathetic chinese porn site.

Frustrations.

It's been three months of no actual news. Well, here I am again. Lots of things happened but let me just keep most part of it to myself.

I am still in the same company. Did not make the jump. Decided to refuse the offer from my ex-supervisor and the other company failed to get back to me on the offer letter. Asked my friend about it and he told me their HR dept are run by dumbasses. Well, I didn't know that my current income is near the limit for the post in most local companies. Did not know how they actually calculate that but in my opinion, if your employee benefits package falls short and you would say that the compensation I request for that is too high but seeing your upper management drives luxury cars, boasting that your company is listed in Fortune 500, I will conclude that your company aren't that great as you did not value your employees that much. There's no such thing as cheap but high performing workers. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys. My demand's too high? please evaluate your whole offer package against what I'm earning now. Experience and skills doesn't come cheap yo. It's not like I plucked the numbers from the sky. And so, I'm, going for other companies that can offer better and currently, there is this one of the giant MNCs that seems to be chasing me and my colleagues as we have quite the largest number of highly talented Java developers. Got a face to face interview on lunch time tomorrow. Had a phone interview on last Thursday which they asked me if I was googling the answers (yeah right, as if answering phone interview questions at my own desk is convenient with people all around you listening, I had to do it in the pantry as my battery is low and the pantry is the most private place that has a power point). The best news is, their project is web applications. That is relieving enough. I really need a break from this crazy desktop applications projects.

The govt keep on claiming that the economy is getting better but I would definitely disagree. Indeed that the MYR is getting stronger with the exchange rate being USD 1.00 = MYR 3.18. Yes, purchasing power for foreign items are increasing if you are buying over the internet but, for items that are available locally, the prices will never go down and the people's income wont be increasing either. It's one of the sad part of living in Malaysia, where the political leaders are always power hungry and full of corruption shit. Even the news reports that surveys found that MYR 3K is just barely enough to survive in the city of KL. I wish I could get to work overseas. In my views, out there is definitely better than here.

On another story, there's nothing much to say. The world is never fair. Life is never fair. And most of the times, I wish that..sigh..just forget about it..

...

I wish I could make it disappear..
I wish they would understand..

I've walked this far..
I've worked hard to rebuild..

but now I have to let it all fall..
wasted, broken, torn, shattered..

once more my life in shards..
battered heart turns to dust..

once more...
I long for eternal darkness..

Hey Spammer!

YOU! yeah, you the one who spammed my comments of my posts with your pathetic Chinese porn site links.

I don't even have the slightest interest in your dumb site so stop spamming me with that stupid site of yours.

So get the eff out of my site you pathetic loser!