:: Bits and bytes of my life ::

The culture of prejudice.

2012-01-10T06:23:00.000+08:00

Ever since I developed this habit of observing people's behavior years ago, only a very tiny number of them earned my respect when it comes to judging and criticizing whereas the others are having this nasty personality rot to judge and criticize as if that they are so holy.

Some of those that have this disease realizes it but they never cared as long they get to their dose of people bashing. This type of people are the ones who aren't worth a while to have a constructive argument with. You can recognize them from their absence of any facts from their arguments, only bashing, speculations and hearsay.When presented with facts that they can no longer refute, they start to find fault within the person they are arguing with. Most of these types are young adults with still very immature thoughts.

Another type is the ones who are so lost in the illusion of self grandeur. They do have respectable ideals, generally do not disturb others but they are so lost within themselves. These type of people is the Ignorants. They're smart people but sadly, they are so full of themselves. Always claims that they read the history, studied the profiles and biographies of great people from the past but failed to read between the lines or maybe they just left some part out hoping that their counter arguer wouldn't know. They always view themselves as being superior for having the gift of intellect and views others who does not share the same ideals and philosophy as losers and have no respect for them. So lost within their ideals that they lost their connection with the other majority of minds in the society. When given a fact, they disregard and digress by connecting it out of the context to another 'might-be-related' fact. Always confused between personal gains as contributions to the society. Smart, but not smart enough.

I wrote this entry just to vent out my disappointment. Instead of only finding faults, bashing, labeling, name calling, why can't we look at the good side and provide solutions to the problems? Why can't we see and help bring out the actual shine within ourselves?

To those whom I have those wonderfully insightful and fulfilling arguments, I thank you very much. You know I appreciate those moments when I say 'Thank You' at the end of each session. You guys earned my respect. :)

Distributed VCS vs centralized VCS

2011-12-29T18:41:00.000+08:00

I've been using GiT, a distributed VCS, for more than a year now. I don't find it cumbersome or hard to use at all. It just need a little shift in paradigm of how a VCS works. First things first, we just need to understand its concept of local and remote repository.

When you install DVCS and initialized a repository, this is your local repo. It resides on your local machine. When you do a commit, you are actually committing locally. This has several advantages.

You dont have to be online to commit your code. What does this gives you? The ability to track your changes. But one may argue that you can compare with Local History in your IDE. Question: Can you track the whole project changes with that? I believe that you only can track only a single file at a time. :) So, DVCS allows you to track your whole changes and 'save' it as a set. You might write a prototype program and it works fine. But let say you need to refactor it and something goes wrong somewhere and you lost track of what was changed that made it broke, can you track them back using the local history? Unless you are a masochist then I believe the answer is no.

You are free to develop and implement that experimental feature without the pain of doing merging that most popular centralized VCS gives you. Not just that, you are now able to do that OFFLINE and without the pain of creating a separate workspace/project.

You totally don't need a centralized repo to sync your codes with your buddies anymore. If you and your team work locally, you can just pull from each other and review each other's codes just by sharing a folder on the network, or create a 'bundle' and email it. Or appoint someone as the build manager and let him do the usual merging and build. You can have a 'Blessed' or 'Golden' or whatever name you want to give it to a main repo and work in a 'centralized' way if that is what you want.

Minimize broken builds. Now in my past experience, this thing is undeniably the most common showstopper for developers. Countless times I've been in this situation where somebody from a different timezone 'accidentally' committed half of what they supposed to and what happened was, the whole local team unable to do anything productive for the day. Worse if the team in the other timezone is celebrating holiday the next day. Or maybe somebody refactored a piece of code that another developer did a design mistake to tightly couple his code to it.

I'm not saying the CVCS is all that bad. It is simplistic but it relies too much on the network and developers to commit their code correctly. Right now, if I am given the choice, I rather go with the DVCS instead of CVCS and I really recommend that you do too. Other than the shift in paradigm, another issue that most DVCS haters are having are just because they did not configure their client properly - this could be for so many reasons but I would say being lazy and impatient is the main issue as I never really have trouble using it. Take time to understand and I'm sure you'll like it as I do.

2011 in review.

2011-12-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

2011 is closing its curtains. A lot of events occurred that brought major changes in my life's course.

To summarize some of the memorable stuffs:

Left a huge nonsensically chaotic corporate organization after a heated argument with a moronic asshole manager. XD
Went on a trip to Indonesia, sightseeing and attending my sister's wedding reception ceremony. :)
Joined an organization that is also dysfunctional but bearable due to the super flexible hours and remote working ability. :|
My team lead resigned. Major demoralization. :(
Went on a family trip to Cameron Highlands, BBQ and sightseeing. :)
Bought a Playstation 3. Yeah, I'm so outdated. :)
Bought a used Playstation Portable and gave it to my brother as his birthday present. :)
Bought a new mountain bike - Scott Scale 60 2011. :)
Bought a foldable bike - Dahon Vitesse P18 2011 and started cycling to work. :)
Partnered with some good friends (my ex-team lead) to start up our own company. :)
Ex team lead in Patimas joined the dysfunctional organization, but only lasted 3 weeks before resigning. Another major demoralization. :(
Influenced someone to buy a foldable bike too. >XD
Opening myself up by joining the cycling community. :)
I was on TV! (although just interframing) XD
Bought another Playstation Portable and gave it to my nephew for his UPSRA exam result. :)

Things to achieve in first few months of 2012:

Quit the dysfunctional organization.
Get something really rolling for my company.
More community service perhaps?

Out of ideas. To be added more later.

Mental fatigue

2011-11-29T17:34:00.001+08:00

It's almost December. It has been a long journey and still on the road. Not sure if I lost my passion for the job. I keep on losing focus no thanks to all the super fast requirement changes and super tight schedule. It was a disaster for my life. The only thing I can think of right now is to hoard a lot of cash and invest in shares. I just want to relax and enjoy life. Alas, my business is still in its infancy. There's a lot more work to do to get thing really moving. This is 'The Climb' as what those business people say. Targeting to have a good relaxed life in 5 years time could be too constricting I guess. Maybe I should aim lower.

Or maybe I just need a really long vacation. In my mind right now is only beautiful sceneries of paradise like beaches, beautiful mountains with snow, great waterfalls and serene lakes. But then, to even have decent week of vacation to those places would cost a lot of cash.

I wish life is as simple as it was during the times of our forefathers.

sigh...

Galaxy S II

2011-09-08T17:38:00.000+08:00

I've sold off my good old Samsung Galaxy S to a good friend of mine as I bought the Samsung Galaxy S II.
20 minutes after closing the deal at the shop, I've rooted the device. LOL.

My comments:

Almost everything is as expected. The dual core Exynos 1.2 GHz processor really delivers great performance. I noticed no whatsoever lag during launching and switching of applications. The phone really 'flies'. I haven't use other Android phones before so to me, the GPS performance for this 2nd generation Galaxy S is super fast! A major jump from the failed GPS chip in the first generation. Movies and pictures on the new screen utilizing the Super Amoled Plus technology is a delightful sight to behold. Haven't tested for 1080 full HD yet. But the pictures snapped is of a good quality although not as sharp as Sony Ericsson's Xperia Arc.

My only complain is that at stock factory settings, it's still using Gingerbread 2.3.3 which comes with that super horrible Android OS battery draining bug. I wonder why Samsung have yet to roll out the update to 2.3.4 which fixes that particular bug. My hands are getting itchy to flash those 2.3.4 custom roms because of this.

my thoughts on ORM and database performance

2011-09-08T17:04:00.002+08:00

Some people (especially junior developers) who just learnedORM technologies did not understand that sometimes, it is important to write SQL instead of traversing the objects. Yes it is simpler to just get the object from the database and traverse it but depending on the 'loading' mode, you could be writing a program with bad performance issue.

On eager fetching, ALL the related objects will be fetched. You don't really want to do this all the time as it is a resource consuming process.

On lazy fetching, only the object that is directly specified in the query is fetched. Only when we want to traverse along the relation, then only it will load the related objects. This will cause multiple queries to the database.

So, in my humble opinion, it is better to directly query (using the ORM's query language) for the objects that you need instead of being lazy and only depend on the ORM's fetching mechanism. Probably a bit hard to get it right if you aren't familiar with multiple table joins but seriously it is worth the time and yields better application performance.

Conclusion: a good software developer should not neglect learning database related aspect of the field.

All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

2011-07-20T03:18:00.000+08:00

It's been a while. Life has been quite busy but I think I'm getting more lazier.
Work issues are getting more annoying with the CEO getting his hands into the cookie jar at times after my respectable team commander left the gig. I don't really bother to reply his questions in the emails as once before he lashed out at me for no reason after I replied (reread my own reply and there is no way that I'm being disrespectful). Things looks like it's going downhill after the said colleague left. Oh well, don't want to comment much on that so let's leave that topic for later posts and talk about other more awesome things in life.

I'm re-indulging myself in cycling/mountain biking again. This time, a bit more serious as one of my brother just bought a new MTB for himself. Went for two off-road trail sessions (Kemensah and Perdana Lake Garden) and I found myself in dire need to upgrade my old bike. So, a few weeks ago, accompanied by my brother (the one who bought the new MTB) went to several bicycle stores around Petaling Jaya. At first, I was really interested in getting a Merida MATTS TFS 800-D at KSH Bikes. But my brother suggested that we went to all the shops first before deciding. So, next we went to Tukang Basikal Fook Sang and was recommended Fuji Tahoe 1.0. Last stop, we went to BikePro and was recommended Scott Scale 60. It took me long enough to consider the options and I finally decided to get the Scott Scale 60 for the reasons:

The geometry. It gave me the best clearance on the top tube.
The color is more appealing - low profile but 'fierce' enough.

First ride on road, I can already feel the speed and the handling is much better than my old Giant Rincon. Thanks to the 30 speed setup and light overall weight, I can now climb up a steep hill much more easier than before (tested in the hilly area of Kampung Sg. Penchala). I can also attack a downhill with more confidence and control thanks to the disc brakes (the strongest reason to upgrade was my old bike's frame does not support disc brakes).

So one fine weekend, my two brothers, me and a friend of my brother who also just bought a MTB went off in a quest for an off-road trail. Went to Elmina but we're not sure on the trail's entrance so after about half an hour wasting time circling the area, we decided to go to FRIM instead. That day, we conquered the Rover's Trail which we failed the last time due to my eldest brother being superbly unfit with his cheapo-bloody heavy-stupid branded-bought from Giant Hypermarket-MTB causing us to be unable to finish the conquest. That's what you get for being a bloody cheapskate (he never really learn the lesson. sigh. The only thing really MTB-worth on him that day is his helmet). It felt really good that day. Although my brother's friend commented that I went uphill like a absolute madman but downhill like a girl. LOL. That was the first off-road with the new bike.

Last sunday, the four of us went out to FRIM again. This time, we did the Dream Trail + Rover Trail. I would say the Dream Trail is quite a technical challenge being a single track with all those roots, water ruts, the rocks and the narrow trail. The most challenging part for me is the roots and the water ruts. Those ruts really made the trail seems unmaintaned and hard to ride. It was another interesting ride. We thought of taking on the infamous Steroid Hills but both my brothers were not that fit for long rides. Good thing that I've been cycling around the neigborhood so my endurance is kinda okay :). And I've improved my downhill speed thanks to the techniques I've learned from the magazines and youtube videos. My CatEye cyclometer recorded 40km/h as my fastest speed that day :).

Next trip is to finish FRIM's Steroid Hills and later on to Rubber Research Institute in Sg Buloh area. I just can't wait. :)

I hate ignorant incompetent programmers.

2011-05-23T06:57:00.002+08:00

I really hate when this thing happens. Yes I know that Java can be quite verbose with its boilerplate codes but please, as a developer, we should be responsible to write proper codes.

My current gripe right now is related to closing I/O streams. Please do close your streams at the proper place!

Bad example:

public void readFile(String filePath){

try {

    FileInputStream fis = new FileInputStream("inputFile.txt");
    FileOutputStream fos = new FileOutputStream("outputFile.txt");

    ...whatever file processing here...

    fis.close();
    fos.close();

  } catch (Exception e) {


    e.printStackTrace();

} //end of readFile method

Okay, now why do I say that this is a bad example of code? First thing, if there is anything that happens in the try block, rest assured that the program flow will jump directly to the catch statement and the close method invocation will never be reached and the files will be stuck on system unless the app was terminated.

The code was supposed to be written like this:

public void readFile(String filePath){

FileInputStream fis = null;

FileOutputStream fos = null;

try {

    fis = new FileInputStream("inputFile.txt");
    fos = new FileOutputStream("outputFile.txt");

    ...whatever file processing here...

  } catch (Exception e) {


    e.printStackTrace();


  } finally {

try {

fis.close();

fos.close();

} catch (Exception e) {

e.printStackTrace();

}

} //end of readFile method

Now, the changes are highlighted in blue and the font was made bold. Right now, no matter what happens, the streams will always be closed unless you put a System.exit() somewhere before the finally block is reached.

I really hate when my app causes memory leak from using a third party API because of this. And this is also the cause of people saying that Java programs are causing memory leaks. The actual fault lies at bad codes written by incompetent developers. If you are writing an API, make sure that the code is well written! be responsible!

Now, time to get some sleep. Urgh!

Awesome!

2011-04-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

I hope that my past postings are the last of my painful suffering saga. It has been a month. I am now feeling content and great as I'm currently working in a team with good friends and have no issues with anyone. I only have the tasks assigned to focus on and so far, I'm feeling awesome!

I get to work at anytime I like, I don't need to be in office all the time, I don't need to complain much about the task as I believe my team leader and project manager are doing their best to protect me from outside noises. There's no serious blame game going around. No office politics. Just a group of friends working hand in hand as a team to survive on the road to success.

There's always room for discussion although sometimes my team lead and project manager heats up kinda quick but after the discussion, they just 'fool' around together like nothing happened. Professionalism. Nothing personal.

Well, I hope it stays this way. There's no need to work for a huge and famous MNCs to feel content and happy. I left those behind and now, I'm feeling awesome!

Life balance is being restored. :)

2011-03-25T03:19:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Feeling the joy of life returning to me. At the moment, I'm enjoying my holiday. It feels so good to know that there are no more troublesome task with ridiculous deadlines waiting for me at the end. Nothing to worry about. I'm going back to my passion; the core of software development - programming.

It ain't real software development if it doesn't involve real "Puroguramingu, Mazaafakkaa!" All those platforms that claims to be top number one but is not really programming and no community support are all bullshit. And those people doing the management should not dictate what technology and how it is going to be implemented. Stop putting your hands into the cookie jar, bastards! They all should get out of the way, let the engineers apply their expertise and clear any obstacles for the engineers. That's what real Management, Asshole! is all about.

Enough about that. Now I'm going to rant about those freshies out of college and their obsession with joining huge corporate companies. Yeah, sure you have the bragging rights as you have that uber cool email address ending with @<insert huge ass company name here>.com but seriously, have a look at the market demands first. I don't mind if the job is really aligned with what the market demands. But doing things that are of little value to the big market? Are you satisfied enough to invest your part of your precious lifetime doing things that are only going to tie you to only that place? I rather stick to the skills that the market demands. That is the reason I'm not afraid of losing my job. I don't care much about job security if the job itself doesn't give me satisfaction. I rather be free doing things that I truly love. There's a saying that goes: "Find a job that you enjoy and love doing, and you won't need to work anymore".

"Life is too short for the wrong job"

3 weeks to freedom.

2011-03-07T16:19:00.000+08:00

   My resignation took effect on 28th of February 2011. More like resignation email actually since this company is so advanced and did not require printed materials. There was silence in exception for the email I received back from the Human Resources department to confirm that they've received my notice. I'm not keeping it secret to people who I consider as friends. Most others did not know yet but I don't care. They don't matter much to me.

   It became my resolution ever since my new manager 'challenged' me to resign about four weeks ago. The domain side complained that my team is not giving our full dedication and said that we did not deliver anything. My team leader is a spineless weakling who can't even stand on his own, always obeying the commands even though it's absurd. My integrity was questioned again and this enraged me. It was unfortunate that I've been sick a lot at the end of 2010 and early 2011 with the kidney stones and the food poisoning. Yet, I was labeled of being 'sick' just to avoid work. When I challenged them back about the medical claims I made because I've maxed out the specialist clinic allocation and whether they wanted me to bring my medical records, silence reigns. I've worked my ass from daylight to the wee hours of the morning just to reach the absurd deadline. I've been denied training on the platform just because I can't attend the full two weeks due to my appointment with my doctor. I've been working hard just to understand the uber annoyingly complex platform but I've received no gratitude for my work. Heck, originally, I was the only developer working on the stupid module. Even after another offered to help, we still couldn't finish the damn thing on time as the time given was ridiculous.

   I've truly had enough. I'm glad that I've made the decision. I'm buying myself out. My time is too precious to waste on things that I don't even like doing.

No more Mr Nice Guy

2011-02-10T02:07:00.002+08:00

Does it strike you as weird when you're bought out from a company with an exorbitant amount on your head..

- and tells you that they need your expertise but they asked you to do every nitty gritty detail set by them to the letter?

- and tells you they need your experience but are not listening to your advice at all?

- and tells you they need you to provide input on enhancements but when you do, nothing is being done about it?

- and tells you that they need fresh new ideas but when you pitch some to them, it falls on deaf ears?

- and tells you that they need your problem solving skills but when you detected a hidden but imminent malicious problem and told them about it, they asked you to just follow the plan?

Heck, there's a hell lot more.

I'm totally pissed right now. How easy it is for you to deny all that I've done; my commitment, the F-ing long hours just to follow your atrocious deadline, the denied holidays, the stressful weekends. What happened to the "good job!", "great!" and what-so-ever when we followed your destined-to-doom plan earlier but the final product is a mess?

That will be the last time you'll be questioning my integrity. And yeah, since it's easy for you to say that if I don't like it, I can just get out, no more Mr Nice Guy from me. Here it is: FUCK YOU!

Yeah you bought me out. but that doesn't mean that you fucking own me!

All the best luck and the grandeur of the heavens for your Death March.

Disgusted and burnt out.

2011-02-01T06:01:00.002+08:00

I don't really want to blog about this. It's been 7 freaking months. I've been trying hard not to but I can't stand it anymore. The thing is, my current company sucks big time. Not as worse as the Singaporean company that I've joined before but enough to make me feel sick about it.

There's no real structure. The whole thing is a total disarray. Requirements come in really late. Estimations were done at managers' whim. developers were forced to work super overtime just to meet the impossible deadline and the worse thing is, I'm already burnt out.

Asshole managers. I seriously disgusted by an email written by one of the managers. Come on, It was not their business opening time yet, the deadline is just a few hours late and he already shot an email claiming that we already losing client's trust and we are perceived as being bad. Total bullshit. Disgusting. You're the one who over promised the client. You never consult us about the task estimation and you just stamp your own date and what the F, we're the one to be blamed? F you!

Useless team leads adds salt to the pain. You know that it is impossible to meet the crazy deadline and yet you just say yes to everything but the burden was placed all on the developers. You yourself hardly code and you call yourself an architect? F you! When things go wrong and the damnation is imminent, you start to frantically blame your developers and force them to work atrocious hours. Again, F you!

I'm already on holiday, yet you tried to called (good thing I've blocked your number earlier) me demanding I submit the codes and when you can't reach me, you spammed with sms' threatening that this will not look good on my performance review? For F's sake I've told you I'm going on holiday on these dates ages ago. Why the F did you assign me the task? F you!

Highly Political. Highly Preposterous. Highly Painful.

I bet Bill and Dave are crying in their graves right now. So much of preserving those so called values.

Income from piracy.

2011-01-10T17:35:00.001+08:00

In the world today, nearly every business requires the use of computers and when we say to use a computer means that we are using a software that are installed in the computer to get our job done. It has come to my attention that most of us are using pirated software no matter how small the scale is even in those large corporations or in the government sector.

I have to admit that I am one of them and I'm not proud doing it. Thus, in this year 2011 I am set to use only legitimately acquired software. I am a software engineer by profession and I really understand how malicious is the effect of software piracy. At the current moment, other than my daily job, I'm also working as a software development consultant on a part time basis for another company. My concern right now is that I'm indeed using software to earn income. From a Islamic perspective, software piracy is like stealing and income for the use of it is non Halal. I guess I just realized why I'm always getting sick. So, the next thing is, I'm going to legally purchase all the required software for my business.

a post in a forum about fatwas on software piracy:

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/134295165-pirated-software.html#post1307719

Agent of Change

2010-12-16T13:57:00.002+08:00

Had a talk with a friend about being an agent of change. In essence, what he said was true. I'm being too aggressive and radical in my approach. But I stand partially at fault. Part of the blame is theirs too.

I came in with great expectations. I mean come on, claiming to be the largest company in the field, they should be able to offer better than what they currently have. I was wrong. And they are wrong too. I should not have expectations that great and they should not have made the claim. They are actually manufacturing company that produces hardware products that targets the IT field market. So, they are not actually the largest IT company. They're not even an IT company in reality.

My second mistake is 'forcing' them. I understand that it's hard to have someone who is young in the field and yet telling you that they way you're doing it is wrong. But again, look at the context and the big picture and consider all the factor instead of what you've used to do. It is easier to produce a hardware instead of a software. Manufacturing hardware is just a matter of producing the parts, assembling it and testing it. I'm not saying that it is that easy it's just that producing software is far more complex and requires a paradigm shift. Software is far from being 'mechanical'. Software requires creativity and deep thinking. It's not something that you can just mindlessly assemble to mass produce it. Software itself does not even have the capabilities of being manufactured.

Well, I've nearly stopped complaining. I'm tired of talking ideas to people who aren't even passionate and care about quality. Most of the time, they just rejected it although I've proven that there's a way to do something better. To them, delivering functionality is more important as it generates income. True, but if your codes are crappy, who the heck wants to maintain it? "Corporate Inertia" is the term for this kind of behavior.

Flashed my Samsung Galaxy S with Doc Froyo 7.6.2

2010-11-19T16:12:00.001+08:00

After waiting so long for the official Froyo to be available here in Malaysia, I decided to just get on with the European version. So last night, I flashed from WXJM1 (European version of Eclair) to a custom version of JPM (European version of Froyo).

The whole process was very easy although I did a small mistake that nearly gave me a heart attack - I bricked the phone, but I managed to recover. It's true that they say the phone is quite hard to actually brick it. LOL.

Now I'm testing out the lag fixes. currently using NoRFS + ext4 formatting but it seems that the battery drain is quite noticable. I've read that flashing SpeedMod kernel is enough rather than applying the lag fixes. Maybe I'll try that later.

Edit: Crap! just about 12 hours I flashed the custom Froyo, the official Froyo for Malaysia came out. zzzz

How do you use your social network tools like twitter/facebook/etc. ?

2010-11-04T15:12:00.000+08:00

For me, in my opinion, I usually use it to describe the state of my mind, pitching my thoughts, ideas or interesting articles which again in my opinion are more appropriate to be shared with friends.

I'm writing this as I feel kinda really annoyed reading updates that are of little value such as what you've been eating or ranting about something without reason. I couldn't care less about what you eat whether it's delicious or nauseating. It just doesn't add value and a waste of time and network bandwidth unless you include the details on why it is delicious/nauseating and the location of the food joint. Now that, at least have some value to be shared socially and could be helpful.

So people, please at least post something useful and have value instead of some mundane general status update such as "am at <location>" or "<something/someone"> is stupid" or "eating <delicious/nauseating> <food name>". Elaborate them a bit like telling what's happening at the location, your reason for rating the food or why you think that something/person is stupid/good. Now that, I believe will add value to the posts/updates and will usually start some discussion. "Why would we need discussion on the update?" you might ask. Well, it is simple. It is not called "social networking" for nothing.

So people, update wisely or you'll just be labeled as another idiot spammer.

People behaviors are just intriguing.

2010-10-02T19:38:00.000+08:00

Had a conversation with a colleague a few weeks before about software development methodologies. I find it funny how people tend to reject things that are new to them. Funnier thing is they even belittle something that they never even tried.

Seriously people, don't just say something bad just because you think it is but you never really experienced it. And please, those things that are new to you doesn't mean that it's actually really new. Probably, you were just too busy "chopping down trees" that you forgot to "sharpen your axe" or just don't have the time to go to the market and look if there are things that could do better than your dulling axe.

So please, keep updated with the current trends if you are really passionate about your job. You might find that there is this "chainsaw" thing at the market could help you way lot better than the axe.

I've been thinking.

2010-09-22T02:52:00.000+08:00

Lately I've been reading a lot of books on business and investments. We're not getting any younger and time flies so fast that by the time we realized it, it felt like what happened months or years ago just happened yesterday. The conversation that I had with Clarice's dad during lunch at The Curve last week really made me having serious thoughts about really starting my own business. The future is full with uncertainties but still, there's no harm trying.

I've seen an heard a lot of examples of successful people. Sometimes what they all did is so simple but really profitable. My idea is to start my own software development company or software consultancy. I know that I'm far from being a real technical expert like my software development idols or those people from the other side of the world but analyzing the situation from the people around me at my current job, I guess I'm more than good enough for the local market.

The main thing that is bothering me right now is the main focus or direction of the business. What kind of industry should I be really concentrating? At the current moment, analyzing on the current local market, my eye is currently set on the local private health industry. I noticed that most of the clinics (except for the hospitals) that I went to did not really have a computerized system for patient records management and inventory management. It's 2010 and they're still based on papers and folders. It would be great if those data can be managed and retrieved easily. Inventory restocking could be done with minimal effort and patient records from the illnesses and insurance coverage can be retrieved a lot more faster

Maybe I should just talk to my personal doctor when I visit her next time..

It's been a while...

2010-09-16T01:32:00.000+08:00

Since my last post.

So here's an update. I'm still stuck in HeshPee. The whole administration style still doesn't improve much and I've understand why my other colleagues just kept silent about it. Most of the reasons are because that they previously come from a local or Chinaman style company which squeezes you until you're torn and battered. So they found great relieve and are quite happy with the way things are done in here.

In contrast to them, nearly everything sucks for me as I strongly believed that all of us there deserves better treatment from the higher management. Although I feel that my reporting manager doesn't really help me, I know he's under pressure himself. The higher managements really do deliver great speeches and 'motivational' talks, I am not that easy to convince unless they really can prove that. For me, if you want people to trust you, you have to give leadership examples first. Don't ever give me the usual bullshit such as "If you are performing well, you will get greater rewards". Those kind of talks are nothing. Show me some leadership first and I will follow. If you only give that kind of talk and promises to me, I will only deem that you are just treating me as 'just another employee'.

I'm not going to continue ranting on the management issue. Now comes the issue with the job itself. This company bought me out and claims that they need my expertise in Java ASAP as it is mission critical. Bullshit! It's almost 3 months and what I found out is that this thing they're doing don't really need Java expertise. Someone with some experience in web development and not even strong in Java can do all of it in my opinion. The questions asked during the phone interviews that they conduct is really misleading. A person will think that the questions asked regarding the technology are really going to be used in the project-which is far from being the truth. There's no EJBs in here, no Hibernate, no Struts/Spring/whatever framework. It's all tightly coupled and I would say that we're under the mercy of Intershop-the company that created the platform that we are building on. There is nothing on the web that really could help us, only marketing bullshit that goes as Intershop (self claimed) offers the largest and the best e-commerce platform in the universe. yeah right.

I just can't wait to get out of this hell hole.

My take on HPME and SLIM

2010-07-22T02:01:00.001+08:00

so today, I finished one of six course of HP's so called software development methodology which is SLIM. The whole training course reeks of waterfall methodology. Always talking about processes and tools and how those tools helped them to save time and budget. In my opinion and observation, those metrics that they used are so shallow and there are a lot of possibilities on how they could arrive to the conclusion.

Which makes me wonder did they never read those books written by those famous and successful software developers? for example, The Mythical Man Month which explains extensively on why we should not add more people to an already late project.

They mentioned I the training course that when they implemented SLIM, the numbers of defects went significantly down. But as I observed from the slides, that was in the last phase which could easily mean that logically most of the other requirements have already been met successfully so why would they need to change the source code further? And regarding the so called work life balance can be easily achieved if the whole organization implements agile and lean methodology at the first place. Agile and lean protects the developers from unnecessary problems and allows them to focus more on developing the product.

On a side story, a senior colleague warned me that I'm under serious scrutiny as the manager often saw that I'm on facebook 'all' the time. Did they never heard of focus and time management techniques such as the pomodoro technique? I guess that comes naturally when you stay too long in a traditional waterfall management.

Conclusion: waterfall is evil and should be ceased from practice. Adopt the Agile Methodology today!

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Hey dumbass!

2010-07-18T01:24:00.001+08:00

Bloody hell! Stop posting comments in chinese and stop trying to promote your stupid porn site will ya? Better if you just stop visiting my blog. Sorry to say, you and your chinese porn site sucks! Now just go to hell!

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Well, whatever.

2010-07-16T01:32:00.001+08:00

This new company that I serve is seriously messed up. Too many things that I'm not satisfied with to list here. I mean come on! It's been nearly a month since I worked here but I still don't have access to too many stuff that I should already have access to. The active id for example. Why the heck do I need to request access for it twice? And about the claim for my employment buy out process, why the heck does it says that I haven't keyed in my bank account details yet when I already keyed it in 2 days ago? Why do those people in india have to key in my bank account to another system? This is so inefficient and stupid.

You tell your employees that you value them but these things that you're doing really contradicts to what you just said. I really don't get why a lots of people wants to work here.

This place is so overrated.

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The grass aren't always greener on the other side..

2010-07-04T19:26:00.001+08:00

It has been a week since I've joined this new organization. There's a lot of things that I am not satisfied with how they do things. They definitely could have done it better judging from the fact that they have the time to surf the net for non job related purposes. I only received my ID after a week of doing nothing. They gave me the laptop since the first day, but in order to activate the laptop, I need to have my ID and I've been carrying the machine around for a week without being able to use it. Talk about inefficiency.

I got cheated by the HR too. They mentioned that the Annual Leave is 15 days. But they never mention that there is about a week of forced leave during the end of the year for business closing because of Christmas. I don't celebrate Christmas and I do not need 1 week of holiday for it. Talk about being honest.

They promised me that the job will be as interesting and as challenging and the work environment would be as exciting as what I had in my previous company. But just after a week of being here, I don't feel excited at all, I found out that the job doesn't really need my deep technical skills and I heard from one of the colleagues that there will be no real programming task as the framework that they are using are already catering for that via the use of templates and what we are going to do are just plumbing. I really wonder why do they really need people with my knowledge around. Now this is just boring.

They told me that the organization have their own version of development lifecycle which is a mixture of Waterfall and Agile methodologies. I seriously went 'WTF?'. Those two cant even mix together as both are of different ideologies and different focus. Fine, they are derived and incorporated from Agile but seriously, you can't just say that you are using Agile. Adopting from Agile doesn't make it an Agile! and just by a glance I can tell that they are going against all four points of The Agile Manifesto. So, tell me, how can you say that you can call it Agile when you are going against the manifesto itself? Now, this is getting annoying.

Well, now, all I could say is I wished I never did all of this. I miss all the things that I enjoyed previously. I miss working with people that are smarter than me.

Well, lesson learned: no matter how big and prestigious is the organization, all of it are just talk unless they can really prove it. I guess the much more fatter pay doesn't really guarantee happiness at work. Well, I'm going to give it a chance and challenge myself whether I can change the mindset of at least my designated team. It's hard to work with people that doesn't share the same passion on software development.

I guess it is time..

2010-05-14T21:10:00.002+08:00

to make the move.

It's been wonderful, colorful and beautiful. Going back a year before, I was really eager if I can go due to some difficult situation. But due to a difficult situation too, I am unable to leave. Forced to stay and face it. For a year, I endured the battle. I had my victory, I had my losses. I gained and lose comrades along the way.

I love the support and understanding of my leaders and comrades. I love the facility. I love the atmosphere. I love the fun that we all had along the campaign. Alas, the battlefield is still not to my favor. I felt out of place. I felt like a burden to my comrades. Although they told me it's alright, I still feel bad about it. I've done my best. But it seems that even my best is not good enough. Though my leader told me it's good to see that I'm getting better at things, I am still dissatisfied with myself. I wish I can do better. Still, I continue to endure and do my best to improve.

It's not that I'm saying that most of it is bad for me. I've learnt a great deal while serving the organization. I know now that I'm better and stronger than I was before. And though the battlefield was not in my favor, there was a lot of things that I've learned from mine and other's mistakes and now, I know what to focus for in the future. I learned to trust people, and honor people's trust in me. I've made a lot of friends, much more than I ever had from the organizations that I previously served. I even found someone special while serving. For all of that, from the bottom of heart, I would like to thank everyone in the organization.

I have been seriously considering. Contemplating for 2 weeks. It's hard but eventually, I'll have to decide. And this time, for real, I choose to leave.

Thank you all for the best 1.5 years of my life.

What is wrong with university students nowadays?

2010-05-05T00:32:00.001+08:00

Seriously, aren't you at least feel even the slightest shame when you post to forums asking freelancers to do your assignments or even worst your Final year project?

If you can't even be honest and professional about your current job (being a student that is) then just quit your studies. Don't waste your parents money or burden yourself with study loans.

I don't know about what others think but personally, do not ever ask me to do your projects/assignments no matter how much you offer. You know what? assholes like you guys are the cause for the deterioration of a university's image and make other honest people lives harder after graduation.

Seriously, I hope you guys just end up as pathetic as this one spammer that never fails to spam my comments with his stupid pathetic chinese porn site.

Frustrations.

2010-04-11T21:37:00.003+08:00

It's been three months of no actual news. Well, here I am again. Lots of things happened but let me just keep most part of it to myself.

I am still in the same company. Did not make the jump. Decided to refuse the offer from my ex-supervisor and the other company failed to get back to me on the offer letter. Asked my friend about it and he told me their HR dept are run by dumbasses. Well, I didn't know that my current income is near the limit for the post in most local companies. Did not know how they actually calculate that but in my opinion, if your employee benefits package falls short and you would say that the compensation I request for that is too high but seeing your upper management drives luxury cars, boasting that your company is listed in Fortune 500, I will conclude that your company aren't that great as you did not value your employees that much. There's no such thing as cheap but high performing workers. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys. My demand's too high? please evaluate your whole offer package against what I'm earning now. Experience and skills doesn't come cheap yo. It's not like I plucked the numbers from the sky. And so, I'm, going for other companies that can offer better and currently, there is this one of the giant MNCs that seems to be chasing me and my colleagues as we have quite the largest number of highly talented Java developers. Got a face to face interview on lunch time tomorrow. Had a phone interview on last Thursday which they asked me if I was googling the answers (yeah right, as if answering phone interview questions at my own desk is convenient with people all around you listening, I had to do it in the pantry as my battery is low and the pantry is the most private place that has a power point). The best news is, their project is web applications. That is relieving enough. I really need a break from this crazy desktop applications projects.

The govt keep on claiming that the economy is getting better but I would definitely disagree. Indeed that the MYR is getting stronger with the exchange rate being USD 1.00 = MYR 3.18. Yes, purchasing power for foreign items are increasing if you are buying over the internet but, for items that are available locally, the prices will never go down and the people's income wont be increasing either. It's one of the sad part of living in Malaysia, where the political leaders are always power hungry and full of corruption shit. Even the news reports that surveys found that MYR 3K is just barely enough to survive in the city of KL. I wish I could get to work overseas. In my views, out there is definitely better than here.

On another story, there's nothing much to say. The world is never fair. Life is never fair. And most of the times, I wish that..sigh..just forget about it..

...

2010-03-24T11:36:00.002+08:00

I wish I could make it disappear..
I wish they would understand..

I've walked this far..
I've worked hard to rebuild..

but now I have to let it all fall..
wasted, broken, torn, shattered..

once more my life in shards..
battered heart turns to dust..

once more...
I long for eternal darkness..

Hey Spammer!

2010-03-02T17:07:00.002+08:00

YOU! yeah, you the one who spammed my comments of my posts with your pathetic Chinese porn site links.

I don't even have the slightest interest in your dumb site so stop spamming me with that stupid site of yours.

So get the eff out of my site you pathetic loser!

The Unforgiven

2010-02-23T21:07:00.002+08:00

New blood joins this earth
And quickly he's subdued
Through constant pained disgrace
The young boy learns their rules

With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on, he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

They dedicate their lives
To running all of his
He tries to please them all
This bitter man he is

Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

You labelled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven

Crossroads II

2010-01-21T02:13:00.005+08:00

It's actually really tough to make a decision when the outcome is no longer a simple count size of 2.

What lies before me is quite difficult to weigh. Both with it's pros and cons and it seems hard to forfeit one path to pursue the other path.

One path is totally in my current interest. Both are actually in the list of my goals just that the other path was calculated to be not in the near future, but it seems that I reached both of them rather earlier than what I've pre-calculated and that is the dilemma I'm facing right now.

The first path, time flexibility and feeds my insatiable hunger for knowledge. The second path, power will already be at my command but of course, with responsibility and commitment. And both of them beckons me to choose either one.

I was set for knowledge, but the other path calls that I already have more than enough to be ready and that I will be most welcomed to walk through it should I choose to do so but the path won't be open for long.

"God never changes the state of a people until they themselves change their own situation." (Al-Anfal:53).

It would not be possible for me to reach this point in life, unless the above is true. Thank you Allah, for the blessings that you bestowed.

Crossroads

2010-01-12T00:50:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder how did I manage to hold on doing things that are not really of my interest. It's kind of puzzling myself. Well, I guess it could be because of the atmosphere, friends and colleagues.

December last year was real intense pressure that I ever felt. Going back to the office and face the shear terror and frustration of debugging someone else's messy code after a lot breaks in between surely kills my spirit.

And I reached my breaking point.

But somehow, it felt heavy to do this. Part of me struggles to break free. Another half wishes to stay and hope that it would somehow will turn out better.

But then, one by one, my comrades decided that it is also time for them to go off on their course for a better future. Memories are beautiful aren't they. I guess I have to firm my resolve then.

Cheers for friendship, memories and the future.

Silver linings..

2010-01-06T01:47:00.006+08:00

This is my 1st post in 2010.

Nothing much happening except for the increasing level of stress and frustration. Job related especially. A hell lot of things happening currently that made me feel this way. I really hate changes or introduction of new stuffs that is required to be in the delivery of the product at the last minute. They should know that it is a very bad practice to do so as it causes unrest among those whose work depends on each other.

Another issue is if you are the one that worked on that particular task that introduced a new problem. You should be the one responsible to fix it. You are not supposed to pass your own mess to another and then keep on asking the person to settle it as soon as possible. Especially if the thing that you call working piece of code can be classified as not just spaghetti, but with shitballs too. Yeah you claim that it has all that nice pluggable features yada yada blah blah blah so on and so forth but does it ever crossed your mind that the thing should be simple and just get the job done? Have you ever heard of the principle of YAGNI?(You Ain't Gonna Need It). It's pointless to OVER ENGINEER something that could be done with just something simple. Be pragmatic about it please.

Anyway, rantings aside, I've decided I should leave soon. Sent my details to a friend and hope that his company will get back to me ASAP. They're working on web and enterprise applications development for a well known organization which sounds very interesting (Of course as my interest area is in the web and enterprise applications). Just hope that they wont suddenly start developing desktop applications as this is the thing that drives me crazy everyday. The most appealing part is that the work hours is super flexible. I just need to be at the office or site if there is a meeting or getting new task or delivering completed task. That way, I can work from anywhere I want. All these while I imagined myself working at my own pace and at any place that I wanted to. Starbucks?Coffeebean? McD? or just anywhere with an internet connection and a conducive environment. Mobile office for the win! As long as I can deliver, they promised they wont bother. Who needs Annual Leaves that way? Sounds really cool. But he mentioned that the other benefits that the company offer are sucky especially on the health and hospitalization coverage.

News flash! got a message in Facebook from my ex-supervisor during my industrial training at Celcom. He got one position for a System Analyst. We chatted a bit a few hours ago and he explained the responsibilities of the position. The person who holds the post shall be involved in the design of the system but NOT involved in the actual development? From the way it sounds, it's more like being a Product Owner to me. That would be cool. And he said that my expected remuneration is quite okay. The downside is, from past experience, commuting to work is horrible and work time is not that flexible. And I hope that if I ever offered the position and decided to take it, will it ever have something to do with coding? If not, that I might miss the joy of code writing.

Kinda confused on these two places. Don't really know what I want now. But anyhow, I'm grateful and happy. It's true then that reward came to those who persevere and patient.

Stand by my side and walk with me..

2009-12-24T12:27:00.001+08:00

stay by myside and walk with me

i had enough of being lonely

aid me in my path choosing

in this life of many crossing

stay by myside and walk with me

the perfect person, i may not be

promise I made, to do my best

to put your fears down to rest

stay by myside and walk with me

together we'll create our own destiny

a place in this world for you and me

and forever we'll be for eternity

2009 Reflections..

2009-12-08T16:49:00.001+08:00

It's been a while since my last entry. It's already near the end of 2009.

In less than 4 weeks to be precise. Reflecting back what have I achieve and lost throughout the year:

1. Got a new job at the end of 2008. Brilliant at first. asphyxiated in the later stages. It's not because of the management. It's the projects. I could say I have only interest in one. The other 2 (including the one I'm working on

right now is totally out of my preference list. Felt a bit cheated because during the interview, the questions are about web and enterprise technology.

But what I'm working on most of the time is coding desktop apps which is totally boring to me. Yeah it's Java but I'm more the business logic kind of guy that processes the data and interacts with the DB. Not the GUI designing kind of person. I prefer to work with things that matters which is the information itself, not the way it is represented. I guess I'm in the wrong place. My teammates are not that fun kind of people. I could say that they are nerds. always too serious about the work. (I know some people view me as a nerd too. But I view myself the contrary, I am a geek. although geeks have about the same traits as nerds do but we have a life and we know how to have fun ). And oh, the 'Ching Chong Ching Chong' speak too. Could you please show some respect and speak language that I can understand when I am around especially when I can hear my name mentioned in that 'Ching Chong Ching Chong' speak of yours? that is the main reason why I rather hang out with people on other teams than of my own. Seriously demotivated. If not for my understanding boss and encouragement from my dear, I would have left.

2. I decided to improve myself on the technical skills. Found myself to be quite outdated. well, currently Im looking forward to learn and study Design Patterns. Don't want to stay a 'duct tape programmer' or 'cowboy coder' forever. Need to learn 1337 developers knowledge. And oh, I've been studying Scala, Python and Ruby too. Ruby on Rails is packed with pure awesomeness I would say. If only I have some friends whom I could share with. But sadly, most of them are not into programming. too hard, boring, blablabla are the common excuse. If only they know that actually, it's not that hard. Well, for me, it's more like playing with puzzles except that you can devise your own solution to it. There is always more than one way to solve the whole problem. But then, I guess they're just aren't interested in intellectual challenging puzzles.

3. Well, I don't know if it is too early to say. But I guess I found my soulmate. A true one. Been with her for nearly 7 months. We had arguments but none falls into the serious category and I can say that I am really happy with her. It must be true of what people said that 'we met the worng partners in order for us to improve our weakness before we meet the right person'. Looking back on myself, I was the uptight kind of guy and easily angered. But all I do now is just take the matter as it is if there is nothing I can do about it. We already planned to get together next year. Hope that everything will work out fine.

There's a lot more that I would like to store here. Maybe next time.

My Personal Spring AOP notes

2009-09-27T02:39:00.006+08:00

advice - a method that is called in a Spring classic AOP process.

MethodBeforeAdvice - must implement the method before(Method method, Object[] args, Object target) throws Throwable on the proxy object before calling the actual object's method.

AfterReturnAdvice - must implement the method afterReturning(Object returnValue, Method method, Object[] args, Object target) throws Throwable on the proxy object after calling the actual object's method.

ThrowingAdvice - invoked when an exception defined in the method implementation of this interface is being thrown. The interface did not declare any method but to implement this advice, the method must match either afterThrowing( e) or afterThrowing(Method method, Object[] args, Object target).

MethodInterceptor

pointcut - if we want to advise only some of the methods in an interface, the methods are called pointcuts. Advises will be applied only on these specific methods.

...

2009-09-14T12:44:00.004+08:00

Am i going to leave this place?
What is it I'm running from?
Is there nothing more to come?
Is it always black in space?
Am I going to take it's place?
Am I going to leave this race?
What is it that I've become?
Is there something more to come?

An evening

2009-09-08T00:39:00.000+08:00

Hyper mode before iftar.

Ahlan ya Ramadhan..

2009-08-24T16:17:00.003+08:00

"Demi matahari dan sinarnya di pagi hari.
Demi bulan apabila ia mengiringi.
Demi siang hari bila menampakkan dirinya.
Demi malam apabila ia melitupi.
Demi langit beserta seluruh binaannya.
Demi bumi serta yang ada di hamparannya.
Demi jiwa dan seluruh penyempurnaannya
Maka diilhamkanNya kejahatan dan takwa
Sesungguhnya menanglah orang2 yang membersihkan dirinya
Dan kerugianlah orang-orang yang mengotori dirinya"

- As-Syams 1-10

a bucket of crapshit!

2009-07-24T15:50:00.002+08:00

Seriously right now I'm really fed up doing this crap project.
I don't understand a damn thing of what the codes are about and I really feel like the times I'm spending on it are just a serious waste of time. A bucket load of shit.

Why the heck when I felt like I can start to contribute to the project without depending on another person, they just shove a new project to us. I'm tired and fed up with this kind of working style. I don't get the sense of accomplishment of finishing a project. Sigh.

Yes, I am flexible but not that kind of flexible where you can just shove me anything and expect me to gobble it up just like that.

Should I start to look around again? blerghhhh..

...

2009-07-14T10:43:00.003+08:00

seeing sparks and glimpse of what could have been..
to nearly have it in my grasp..
but to have it all taken away..
and never to really have a taste of it..
so close..and yet so far..
i rather be dead..
than to be shackled to this awful dreaded place in this empty void..

wishes

2009-06-08T21:05:00.003+08:00

I wish that I could control time
making its passage faster or slower to my likings
so that I can feel the sweet moments as if it is forever
and the dark moments pass as if it was never

I wish I could see the future
seeing all the possibilities of what could be
so that I can always have the best solution
and never having anything to fear in my resolution

Shadows on the sand

2009-05-11T17:37:00.002+08:00

as the sun slowly sinks
into the ocean on the horizon
it shone it's golden rays
casting shadows on the sand
and there we were hand in hand
strolling on the fine white sand
wading through the rolling waves
staring to each other's smiling face

violet-crimson gradient hue
recolors of what was azure blue
and im thankful that I've shared it all
with a wonderful companion
and that person is you..

sunday May 10, 2009 0630

Knowing...

2009-04-26T22:43:00.005+08:00

You know, I mean c’mon I don’t really know whether you know or not. But I assume that you know instead of you don’t know.

You know. Yeah I know. But I can’t help to say that you know. I know it's annoying. But I know that you know. But you don’t show that you know. But you look like you know something..

but would it really matter to you knowing it ?

I think my statement made you curious to know what really I want to let you know…

Honestly, I don’t know…

I don’t know what would become of me. Without you knowing it. Not that I’m trying to get you to notice or that I want your attention. But it's just me. I want you to know. Like you want me to know…

But you know, sometimes things can never be the same. Not all things can turn back and go like it used to be but there is one thing sure do stay..standing still…strong sailing through this ocean of life without knowing the difference of day and night, hours to second. you know it will stay there…I know it's going to stay there…

There are always something we learned in everything that happened around us. You know that. I know that too. but do our hearts know it? it will just go to waste as time fly by…and the one we know going to stay will sail..continue to sail…

I don’t know if you know. But when I read it back. I don’t know whether it made sense or not. I know it is not that easy to put life back into the right track and march to the next destination but sometimes, you know, things you know that will happen, will happen someday. sooner or later

And still yet. I don't really know what I’ve wrote so far…

The universe has it’s own way to work. So do we. We know what needs to be done. And we do it at our best knowledge on how to do it…

but through all the "I-know-you-know" stuff. There is time in life you will feel like wanting to have it all. Then suddenly the table turns and everything seem not to be as it supposed to be. But life life goes on. Memories linger. What we have in the past you brought together and fight for the future…

I don't know if you know.
But I guess, I understand..

.. ... .... ....

2009-04-24T15:17:00.001+08:00

gelombang cinta
hilang kuasa
jika penyiar
tak menerima
tolong hubungkan
saya dengannya
walaupun jauh di mata
tetap dekat di hati

.....

2009-04-19T03:09:00.003+08:00

Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit,

or because of Tree didn't ask her to stay?

serabut...

...

2009-04-08T13:11:00.003+08:00

people don't know about the things I say and do
they don't understand about the shit that I've been through
It's been so long since I've been home
I've been gone far too long
maybe I've forgot all the things I missed
I know somehow there's more to life than this
I said it too many times and I still stand firm
you get what you put in and people get what they deserve

but I ain't seen mine
no I ain't seen mine
I've been giving but just ain't getting
I've been walking down that line
so I think I'll keep on walking
with my head held high
I'll keep moving on

and only God knows why..

In the depths of despair

2009-03-17T11:35:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when I'm alone, I stare back into my chaotic past. In silence, I reminisce the options that I had, wondering if I had chosen the other, would I be better than the way I am right now.

Some friends told me that I am lucky, and how they are envious of my accomplishments that I am able to change from what I was.

In truth, they don't really know of what I've been through; the anger, the grief, the feeling of incapable of anything, the utter disappointment.

Not that I'm ungrateful for what I have now, It's just that knowing that something that you wanted most, is like trying to grasp the heavens, a futile attempt.

And this void inside me, is growing into an abyss.

Maybe it was meant to be that way..

Laments

2009-03-11T15:12:00.004+08:00

As much hard that I tried, I still can't get myself fully interested in developing the Netbeans platform. I wonder how much longer could I endure this. As I reflect on the time I spent in the office, most of it, my mind wanders elsewhere and I find myself looking at gadgets, computer games or anything that crosses my mind. Even when I went back home, try as I may reading through the tutorials and the screencasts that I saved to my portable drive, I just couldn't focus. But it was not the same when I read about web frameworks or architectures. My heart is still anchored to web development it seems.

Is there by any chance that we will be developing a web application in the future?I really hoped so..

sigh..

feeling adventurous

2009-03-06T11:22:00.005+08:00

months ago after the crazy level 4 (according to the guide) white water rafting in Sg Selangor, I promised myself not to get into any kind of extreme sports ever again.

I don't really know how to swim except on how stay afloat in the water.

But somehow, I don't know why, I got myself hanging and gliding from platform to platform 17meters from the ground for 1km. Google for skytrex adventures if you wanna see some pics and get yourself the idea of the height and what the challenges looks like.

And I am an Acrophobic.

Nonetheless, the experience is exhilarating. each time I look back at the platforms that I jumped from, I just can't believe that I did it. Effin' awesomeness.

And for reasons I also don't know why, I am strongly attracted to the idea of bike trekking. Seems like it's really fun. It's been years since my last bike ride. Now, I found myself looking for a good mountain bike but sadistically, the price for a good mountain bike is bloody expensive. 11 grand for a bike? waddaeff??!! oh well, no bike trekking so soon I guess. Well, can't wait to get my bike soon so because Kiara bike trail is next on my list.

Tag?

2009-02-22T08:56:00.004+08:00

What is this tag thing? hmm..6 of my habits/things? oh well, what the heck..

1: I can't live without either the computer or the internet.
2: I hate it when people disturbs me while I'm working on something.
3: I'm a hardcore gamer. Need it to de-stress myself.
4: I like to observe people's behavior and I don't talk much unless with close friends.
5: I love listening to retro music. Today's music kinda sucked and most of the lyrics are pointless that they redefined retardedness down to an indescribable level.
6: I depend on water, don't eat much and no seafood for me. I can live without really eating for days.

okay, that's all..
I'm not going to tag anyone because I don't see the real point of doing this other than answering the questions. hahaha.

Resentment

2009-02-18T01:39:00.003+08:00

I hate it when people assigns me something that I'm not familiar with and expects that I can deliver it really fast like I'm super genius brainiac but later gives me the "please hit me both in the face and on the groin" look when I told them that I can't deliver it on their pre-set schedule.

What the F??!! I've never done anything like it before so please understand and don't assign me tasks that I'm not proficient in if you really want it to be done on your pre-set timeline. I'm still learning the whole new shit anyway so for the love of God, gimme some room to breath or please just pass it to someone who really know that shit.

God I hate it when people start to push me around.

The Light

2009-02-02T21:28:00.003+08:00

I saw a light today,
as I was there on the chair,
wondering for the day - how should I fare.

Warm and lively,
the light approached me,
gone are the shadows that resides within me.

It shone brightly,
and I was mesmerized by the beauty,
stunning my cerebral cortex,
swirling my heart content into a vortex,
ah, the light is so pleasant,
with its soft intoxicating fragrant,
and I, drifted in a fleet of fantasy..

Why?

2009-01-16T00:28:00.005+08:00

I really wonder. Is it too hard to be a software developer? Is this kind of job only suited for geniuses? No, I'm not boasting here. I'm actually sad.

My current company is having walk-in interviews each month since its establishment here in Malaysia. We have openings for more than 40 Java Developers, 10 Senior Java Developers and 15 QA Engineers. So far, it is only dominated by the Chinese people. I'm not being a racist here. The company is not even owned by Chinese. It's a British company and the main interviewer is an Australian guy.

Just that I wonder what happened to all those from my race especially my friends that boasted a lot when they got in the Software Engineer or Information Systems Engineering faculties?

Last time I remember, you guys boasted a lot and even criticized students from other faculties for not being able to be in the popular stream. Today, in the industry, where the hell are you guys hiding? Tech Support?? Call centers? WTH???!! You guys are putting all your knowledge to waste. Might as well exchange faculties with me back there.

And there I was, extending my studies for 2 years just because I didn't get my dream faculty. You guys laughed, kept on making fun of me by asking when will I graduate and boasting that by the time I graduate, you guys will have digits in your paychecks and will be in the managerial level.

Who's having the last laugh now?Seems like I'm in a far more better position currently doing things that I enjoy and love. Damn I hate those people.

New year

2009-01-05T18:27:00.005+08:00

I guess it's still not too late for me to wish Happy New Year to everyone.

I'm in the new office right now, relaxing after cramming some server configuration stuff inside my head. New year, new job, new life perspective and hope everything will be great for the year 2009.

2008 was good but not so great. It's been a rough year especially in the mid towards the end. Got caught in a serious personal issue that turned me upside down (don't ask and don't bother looking for it in this blog coz I never intent to write about it anyway) It's a new year by the way. What's done is done. Let bygone be bygones they say. I've recovered although not completely.

As it was before, I'm not going to make any new year resolutions as I already have my targets to achieve in check all the time. Having a target to achieve is essential to keep on advancing in this life and from my own experience, new year resolutions are unlikely to be fulfilled as we always have a change of mind and not to mention that shit always happens no matter how well prepared we are. I believe that we have to adapt to the situation no matter how hard it is and what is coming towards us.

Happy, sad, anger. Those are the things that made this life colorful and wonderful. A painting wouldn't look real if there is only bright and cheerful colors. Too much dark colors will only make it too sad and gloomy. This painting called "Life", should be a mixture of all the colors. That's what makes it beautiful and complete.

Survivor - Eye of the tiger

2008-12-18T11:57:00.002+08:00

This is a song that my brothers used to play over the stereo in my younger years.
Kinda bring back memories when I listened to it on the radio the other day which made me
look for it in youtube and downloaded the mp3 for it. LOL

Enjoy!

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

Chorus:
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

chorus

Risin' up, straight to the top
Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

chorus

The eye of the tiger

Resigning..again!

2008-12-04T22:58:00.004+08:00

As per title, I resigned again. Why shouldn't I? I got a far more better offer than what I'm having here in the current company. But wait, before you start to think that I'm only attracted to the salary package, no, that's not the reason why.

Frankly, here's why:

1. I'm sick of being overloaded with work.
2. I'm sick of being coerced in to do overtimes.
3. I'm sick of being overloaded with more work in spite of the overtime.
4. I'm sick of being assigned assignments with ridiculous deadlines.
5. I'm sick of being forced to work when I'm already at my limits for the day.
6. I' sick of being unable to enjoy myself while I'm doing my job.
7. I'm sick of the feeling of starting to hate my job because of all the above.

for 1 to 4, the reasons are pretty much straight forward.

The reason for #5 is, for me, developing a software is a work of art. Actually, there are many ways to design a code for something and seriously for me, the design should be elegant, not just at the architecture, but by the structures of the code itself. That way, it'll be easier and less work to refactor (if there is any reasons at all to refactor it). To be creative, you can't push yourself too much, creativity can't be forced.

#6, I love designing and developing software. But pushing it when I'm at my limits is seriously causing it to be not fun anymore.

#7, For me, this is not just a job. It is my chosen career path and this is the best thing that I can do (other than playing computer games, how I wish Malaysia have lots of game developing companies so that I can sign up as a playtester LOL).

I'll be joining a new company really soon. I was again, offered immediately on the spot. The interview took place in a hotel next to KLCC. No, I'm not applying to be a hotel employee. It was a walk-in interview so there was a lot of people trying their luck (including me) and I'm one of those lucky people who got offered.

It was an interesting experience, really. I thought I was late as the schedule should be at 10am but thanks to KL's traffic, leaving as early as 9 didn't help much either. Arrived there, climbed the escalator to the 2nd level and getting confused finding the venue of the room as at that time nearly all the suites there are having some kind of function. Managed to find the room after a quick sweep on the level and I was greeted by a lady who asked me if I am to attend the interview and I just said yes. She asked me to fill in my contact in some kind of guest book and after that, she handed me a set of questions, much of it are fairly easy (for me) and I was given 20minutes to answer those questions which I did in about 15 minutes.

Later, she asked me to fill in my current occupation details and after waiting quite a while, an Englishman came looking for me (heard he mentioned my name,the lady there pointed to me and he seems quite surprised and said with a deep British accent "that fine gentleman over there?" ). He introduced himself as the Operations Director for the company and told me that the guy who will interview me later reports to him and that if I really can impress that guy, I'll definitely get the job. He also told me that the reason that he came looking for me was because of the results of the test I took before was way above the average marks and I finished it in a short time. LOL. He was really impressed and the only obstacle left is for me to impress the interviewer, who actually is the Director of the Software R&D department. Kind of a bit weird as I've already impressed the interviewer's boss LOL.

I later then learned that the company is considered a huge company with worldwide operations. Those who're in the banking business (especially credit division) would've heard of this company. And, I've also learned that the office that I'll be working in is really extraordinary and I really mean that (that guy showed me the actual pictures of the office interior).

About the interview, yeah this one is quite tough. The guy who interviewed me really dived in depth on the technical side of the job. I can say I was lucky to impress that guy (lucky that I've also read a lot on software architectures too). For the salary, I didn't asked much. Only an increment of RM200 to compensate my fuel consumption to commute to the office. But the guy who was looking for me earlier, he didn't agree. At first I thought that this is bad news. But instead, it was great news. He gave me a whopping increment and on top of that, I'll be getting travel allowances. The total is far more than what I've imagine I could ever get. I was speechless. I went back home, a super excited extremely happy guy.

And oh,working hours is 9.00am to 5.30pm, Monday to Friday. Health and dental coverage for me and my family (yeah, you read that right. family included!). 15 days annual leave, 18 days sick leave and 5 days study leave. Monthly recreational activities and lots more. What else could I ask for?

So that's all about my latest adventures, greatest thanks to almighty God, for all His blessings onto me.

Fedora 10 released!

2008-11-26T01:33:00.003+08:00

Time to upgrade my "development mode" OS to the new version. Currently still in download progress. Can't wait to get it installed on my machine. =)

Mybloglog Statistics

2008-11-24T16:15:00.004+08:00

Aheha..
lama aku tak login tengok statistik blog aku ni..
tak sangka ada ramai visitor..
especially posting2 yg berkaitan dgn tech..
maybe i should add more entries on those tech stuff i'm working on..
kalo aku taruk nuffnang takpon adsense dah boleh kaya ni..
hahaha..

Layu - Malique

2008-11-06T17:32:00.001+08:00

Sesungguhnya tidak ada yang lebih menyayat
Dari melihat bangsaku dijajah
Tidak ada yang lebih menyedihkan
Dari membiarkan bangsaku dihina

Aku lihat layu dalam melayu
Aku pasti bukan aku sorang saja yang nampak
Ada juga bercadang bertanya tuan punya
Tapi bercampur risau dan tak tergamak
Nanti dikata tak bersyukur
Dikata tak sedar diri
Jadi aku menyendiri memerhati
Dan akhirnya mengakui yang kita sendiri
Membiarkan bunga raya melayu ke kanan
Dan bunga tak cantik mekar di kiri

Aku lihat layu dalam melayu
Tanah air kita yang punya
Kita siram kita baja
Tapi angin api kita lupa

Mereka merancang masa menjilat bangsa
13 harimau bertukar menjadi mangsa
Kita lupa nenek moyang kaya raya
Jangan sekali kali digadai harta bendanya

Ku lihat layu dalam melayu
Ku lihat layu dalam melayu
Ku lihat layu dalam melayu

Takkan melayu hilang didunia
Ya...tapi apa guna tak hilang di dunia kalau
Kewujudan tidak dirasa
Petah berbahasa kudrat tak berjasa
Orang berbudi kita hanya tahu merasa

Selalu lari bila dirapat
Selalu malu bila soalan diaju
Selalu segan memberi pendapat
Rela mengikut dari meneraju
Belum nyanyi sudah bersorak
Suka berjanji dalam borak
Bukan kata tak ada otak
Cuma tak berfikir di luar kotak

Ku lihat layu dalam melayu
Ku lihat layu dalam melayu
Ku lihat layu dalam melayu

Aku jadi sayu
Bunga menangis
Dia mendayu
Mahu jadi cantik
Tapi ragu
Aku merayu
Bangunlah semula hidup kembali
Jangan tunggu matahari mati
Cepatlah mekar sebelum terlerai

Perjuangan kita belum selesai
Perjuangan kita belum selesai
Perjuangan kita belum selesai

Perjuangan kita belum selesai
Kerana hanya yang cekal dan tabah
Dapat membina mercu tanda bangsanya yang berjaya

Butterfingers - Maharani

2008-10-28T15:17:00.000+08:00

Mereka kata ku gila
Lagilah aku suka
Otakku geliga
Fikiran luar biasa

Mereka kata ku samseng
Tapi ku tak ambil pusing
Pedulikan semua
Fikir apa yang penting

Jangan percaya kata mereka
Sudah ku kenal pasti
Kau pujaan hati
Cinta sejati memang boleh dibeli
Tapi tak mungkin ditukar ganti
Akan ku taati Maharani

Mereka kata ku tipu
Tapi ku tak meniru
Mereka semua pemburu
Pemburu yang cemburu

Semua tuduhan
Fitnah belaka
Ada yang suka
Juga ada yang benci
Biar peluru menembus kulitku
Suatu yang pasti kekal abadi
Akan ku taati Maharani

Mereka kata kau sama
Tiada apa yang berbeza
Aku tau kau tak serupa
Tak silau lihat harta

Stupid govt!

2008-10-10T15:19:00.004+08:00

By the time I wrote this, the price of crude oil per barrel is USD 82.65!
it's already been a week for the price to be below USD90 per barrel.
WTH is those idiot ministers in the govt thinking?Please drop the local fuel price!!

Damned idiots!

Preventing Tomcat's java.lang.OutOfMemoryError : PermGen space

2008-10-08T10:47:00.006+08:00

This error is caused by the JVM's Permanent Generation memory space not being enough. the PermGen space is used by the JVM to load classes and rapid loading and unloading seems to cause this error.

The only way that I found to fix this is to enlarge the PermGen memory space by adding these parameters to the JVM during the startup of the application:

-XX:MaxPermSize=256M
-XX:+CMSClassUnloadingEnabled
-XX:+CMSPermGenSweepingEnabled
-XX:+UseConcMarkSweepGC

and of course not to forget the normal max memory heap size override

-Xms256m
-Xmx1024m

Haha. 1st accomplshment in the new company! Now we can repackage the whole app to be deployed in a single server instance.

Selamat Hari Raya!

2008-10-01T21:41:00.001+08:00

Maaf zahir dan batin

"Berkerjalah seolah kamu akan hidup selamanya, beramallah seolah kamu akan mati esok hari"

2008-09-28T21:42:00.002+08:00

Kebanyakan dari kita menafsir ayat di atas seperti ini:

Kumpullah harta sebyk2nya sementara masih hidup..
beramallah macam esok dah nak mati..

aku pun mula2 tafsir mcm tu jgk..tapi lepas aku join satu ceramah
ni, baru la aku nampak yg ada maksud tersirat di sebalik ayat tu..

Tafsiran tersirat:

Hal dunia ni takpe nak tangguh2...
tapi hal akhirat, jgn la bertangguh...

tu la yg dimaksudkan dgn kerja seolah hidup selamanya. Dah nama pun hidup selamanya, relax2 la hal dunia..dunia je pun.
Beramallah seolah esoknya kita mati. Ayat ni sebenarnya suruh kita jgn bertangguh hal2 yg diwajibkan syariat Islam ke atas kita.

Fikir2 balik, betul jugak kan?

Wallahu a'lam.

after a week of being jobless

2008-09-23T00:47:00.003+08:00

seriously relieved at the beginning but seriously bored right now. LOL.
My daily activity most of the time is laying on my bed and sometimes on my computer chair for a while to select the next movie or tv series I wanted to watch or checking my downloads. believe it or not, in just a week, I've downloaded a whopping total of 95GBs of movies and tv series.

Now my body clock's gone haywire due to my movie and tv series marathon sessions. But tomorrow's gonna change. I'm going to hunt for my Raya clothes and check Midvalley's MPH or KLCC's Kinokuniya for a book that I've been hunting for so long. And maybe after that I'll take a tour back to MMU to meet Mat Jep as he told me that he have a freelance job and he want me in. At last! a freelance job after several months of zero challenge. Hopefully this will get me back in the freelance business.

Hmm. I wonder what color should I get for my Baju Melayu. Perhaps, gray like my new car?ah..forgot to mention I got my car last Saturday. My sales agent called me at 930am and I only had like 2 hours of sleep. Meon was at my house that night and we were playing DOOM 3 just to stay awake for the sahur with Salleh,FAB,Nisya and Dibot at Old Town White Coffee in Cheras. Spent the whole morning to afternoon at the tint shop to get my car tinted with security tints and to make things worse, I planned to go Iftar with my schoolmates later that eve. It was fun but I already felt like a zombie that time. LOL. After the Iftar my plan was to go back home and sleep while Hilmy, Apez and Meon rejoin the guys back at Ampang Park for the karaoke session but suddenly the three had a change of mind an instead I was obliged to follow them for a drink at Uptown Damansara. I slept until the afternoon next day (of course have to wake up for Subuh prayers and the sahur with my parents).

I need some sleep. My conciousness fading. so I'm signing off.

a peek into my personality.

2008-09-13T20:02:00.005+08:00

I've been doing some personality test available on the net lately. Took a lot of test on this and that but the ones that really fits me are the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and the Carl Gustav's Jung tests.

all the tests results in me being an INTP.INTP stands for:

Introverted
iNtuitive
Thinking
Perceiving

According to Carl Gustav Jung, my personality can be classified as:

Dominant : introverted thinking
Auxiliary : extroverted intuition
Tertiary : introverted sensing
Inferior : extroverted feeling

based on the result description of my profile, no wonder I am the best person to do technical and R&D stuffs for my career. It suits me very well and i do very well in it.

I do recall some people told me that I am miserable. I LOLed hard on that. What's wrong with preferring to be alone and close only with people that I choose to be close to? I am much more happy that way and to me, you are the one who is miserable for not being able to get my attention. I don't need to get the whole world if I can get satisfaction just from tiny fraction of it and to me, that is what I call being independent and free. You guys are just too stupid and ignorant to realize how precious that is to me. That is the ultimate answer why I don't really need people like you and to me, you people are the ones who are miserable and pathetic anal-retentive attention whores.

So read up before calling miserable on someone you don't really know.

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP.html
http://www.geocities.com/lifexplore/intp.htm
http://similarminds.com/jung/intp.html
http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html

Farewell

2008-09-11T21:52:00.000+08:00

Today's my last day in Patimas. Spent the whole morning in the PSG meeting room conducting my very last training session for my colleagues. Don't really know if they really understand all of it but I've given my very best for them to make them understand because they're the people that will continue where I left off.

A sudden sentimental feeling overwhelmed me in the late evening. Haha. Spent my last few hours with my close colleagues chit chatting about random things and doing lame jokes with each other.
The photo session made the goodbye part a bit hard but what what's done is done.

And so, ladies and gentlemen..

Soleh has left the building..

My close colleagues

with Susan and Li Yen

with BJ and Chai Chin

The R&D team : me and Anselm

with Woon Fei and Chen Hao

Me and Chen Hao

me and Yih Ching

me and the strange lady Clarice..LOL

my ID card..will miss you very much..haha

Career advancement

2008-09-07T22:06:00.005+08:00

It's been a year working at Patimas. After a lot of thoughts and consideration, I've decided it is time to leave.

My colleagues asked me why. Well, there's a lot of reasons why. But my primary concern is not about the money.The pay is considered low if compared to what other people with my title but I guess it's quite okay for my lifestyle. The thing is, I don't really get what I wanted here. I seek experience and knowledge and Patimas did not really satisfy me. Yeah I know that I've been doing high tech stuffs and all but the thing is the knowledge I gained is just a small percentage of the effort I gave not to mention that most of the time I was clueless and lost and don't really have anyone to ask for opinion and ideas thanks to the staff shortage (cost cutting policies?).

My close colleagues, although they're friendly and fun, are not really initiated on improving themselves. They're actually quite good, but the thing is they lack the initiative on improving their knowledge and most of the time give reasons on this and that when asked to learn new stuffs. This is the thing that frustrates me the most. But still, they're good and friendly people.

All of these are stagnating me. I need a fresh environment where I can meet other tech enthusiasts and share knowledge on those cool bleeding edge stuffs. The only thing that really kept me going on is my own drive and the occasional motivational words from my boss. (sorry to disappoint you boss, but I really can't stand this anymore)

Thankfully, God lighted my way and I've already signed up with an IT company from Singapore and guess what? I was offered the position of Senior Technical Consultant. I guess my attempts to avoid self-obsolete really pays off. Talking about pay, The offer I got was quite luxurious too. Hopefully, the experience will be luxurious as the pay itself and the best thing is, the company's Director (she's the one who interviewed me) was so enthusiastic in taking me in that she offered me on the spot during the interview and the more surprising thing is that she did not even try to bargain with me about my expected salary.

Well, I have no more work pending for Patimas so I have all the time I need to study the latest software frameworks and technologies to get myself a firm ground on the things required for my new job. (Spring and Hibernate, how I long to get myself in a project based on these 2 technologies. and not to forget the fresh new framework Struts 2.0. Uber coolness!)

Oh I just can't wait for 3rd October.

=)

wisdom on words

2008-09-02T07:08:00.003+08:00

Kita lahir dengan dua mata di depan wajah kita, kerana kita tidak boleh selalu melihat ke belakang. Tapi pandanglah semua itu ke depan, pandanglah masa depan kita.

Kita dilahirkan dengan 2 buah telinga di kanan dan di kiri, supaya kita dapat mendengarkan semuanya dari dua buah sisi. Untuk berupaya mengumpulkan pujian dan kritikan dan memilih mana yang benar dan mana yang salah.

Kita lahir dengan otak di dalam tengkorak kepala kita. Sehingga tidak peduli semiskin mana pun kita, kita tetap kaya. Kerana tidak akan ada seorang pun yang dapat mencuri otak kita, fikiran kita dan idea kita.Dan apa yang anda fikirkan dalam otak anda jauh lebih berharga daripada emas dan perhiasan.

Kita lahir dengan 2 mata dan 2 telinga, tapi kita hanya diberi 1 buah mulut. Kerana mulut adalah senjata yang sangat tajam, mulut bisa menyakiti, bisa membunuh, bisa menggoda, dan banyak hal lainnya yang tidak menyenangkan. Sehingga ingatlah bicara sesedikit mungkin tapi lihat dan dengarlah sebanyak-banyaknya.

Kita lahir hanya dengan 1 hati jauh di dalam diri kita. Mengingatkan kita pada penghargaan dan pemberian cinta diharapkan berasal dari hati kita yang paling dalam. Belajar untuk mencintai dan menikmati betapa kita dicintai tapi jangan pernah mengharapkan orang lain untuk mencintai kita seperti kita mencintai dia.

Berilah cinta tanpa meminta balasan dan kita akan menemui cinta yang jauh lebih indah.

Russell Watson - Faith of The Heart

2008-07-24T00:02:00.004+08:00

It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me down

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, I’ve got faith, faith of the heart

It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I've finally have my day

And I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna change my mind

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, faith of the heart

I've known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine.

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith

I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, I've got faith, faith of the heart.

It's been a long road.

Bored

2008-07-03T14:25:00.003+08:00

I'm bored with my work assignments. Some of it are interesting, but the interest died when I have to struggle alone to complete it. Sure I can work independently but I prefer working in a team so that at least I can exchange ideas on doing things instead of wasting my time looking for answers on problem that actually is a silly mistake. Maybe it's time for me to move on already. I don't really get what I wanted here. Most of my skills are like being wasted on trivial things and not where it matters the most.

I have my own targets and goals in my life and I would love to have a specific function and obviously not to be a multipurpose worker who can be disposed into things that I am not fond of doing. And what I hate most is when I say something based on my past experience on working on a similar thing, people just shrugged it off as if I have zero knowledge on it. Yeah you maybe better at codes and most system architectures than me but most of the time you missed out the small portions and features of it which could be critical for the system or could really ease the development. You can't just judge by using assumptions. It's like being jumpy on the gun when there is nothing really worth to shoot at. You'll be fucked up later because you're out of bullets while fantasizing that you'll hit the 'godfather' and gave fat chance to those small,trivial 'henchmen' to come up and ganged on you.

Maybe I'm still young, but i'm not a totally empty shell.
Mark my words.

Sesat di Kuala Lumpur

2008-06-23T12:00:00.001+08:00

Sesat di Kuala Lumpur
Dosa dan pahala bercampur
Tapi kita perlu hidup
Kita perlu terus hidup

Terima kasih tuan dan nyonya
Doa sejahtera kami pohonkan
Pada Tuhan Maha Kuasa
Tuhan Maha Kuasa

Mungkin kita kan temui kebahagiaan
Di Kuala Lumpur
Dan mungkin kita akan kecewa
Mungkin kita akan jadi kaya dalam lumpur
Mungkin kita akan terpedaya

Mungkin ada jalan di Kuala Lumpur
Jalan bahagia
Mungkin kita akan kecewa
Mungkin kita akan jadi alpa serta lupa
Dan Mungkin kita kan terpedaya
Mungkin kita akan jadi kaya serta lupa
Mungkin kita lupa pada asalnya.

The pond at my company

2008-06-17T17:28:00.002+08:00

Just to test the mobile blog feature of my new SE K770i
image is set to VGA mode.

Nation in crisis

2008-06-09T14:14:00.001+08:00

tak tau nak kata apa dah. Semua Pak Lah punya pasal.
Petrol kat Malaysia ni naik 78 sen..gila apa..
gaji aku tak naik pon..camna nak survive?
nak bayar ptptn, insurans, nak kawen, beli rumah, beli kereta..
mmg langsung takde duit dah la..
this is what we get if apes and monkeys rule the country..
ingat rakyat bodo ka?
suruh rakyat ubah cara hidup..yg dia dan kroni2 tros lagi dgn hidup mewah..
cuba skali ko bayar petrol pakai duit sendiri, duk rumah teres n blablabla..
ni dgr citer nasi putih kosong pon dah rm1.50. gila btol.
camni ada je chance, mmg aku blah tros dari malaysia ni..
sedih mmg la sedih..tapi nak wat camne kalo dah takle nak survive..
skrg ni semua harga barang nak naik..
sikit2 nak compare dgn negara yg tak produce petrol..
patut harga petrol murah tu hak keistimewaan rakyat malaysia la sbgai warga negara pengeluar petrol..
tak paham aku dgn kpale otak monyet2 tu..

pening lagi..

2008-05-30T17:07:00.002+08:00

I was really set look for another job in the next 2 months when today, my main boss came over my table, grab a chair and sat next to me.It was kinda weird as it was the first time. He asked me about the task he gave to me two weeks ago which I misunderstood of what he really wants. It was really simple and I thought that he wanted to see a working prototype. LOL.

Well, he was really satisfied to see that I actually did more than what he expected which is just the documentation. After he finished explaining the additional requirements, he told me of his plans for me.

He wanted to create a special division which consists of only me and my 2nd boss, Anselm to handle the modernization of the company's flagship product, Equity Online. My task is to implement web services and ajaxify the application where it is possible to meet the requirements to be Web 2.0 / SOA ready.

Darn, now I'm trapped with this guilty feelings again. As if my private life matter isn't enough.I'm in a dilemma.

Anyway, I found it funny that people keep on telling that it's hard to get a job in the IT field. I found through my experience that it was in the contrary. As I kept on receiving job offers from companies whether local or MNCs. One even called me all the way from Australia asking me if I'm interested to work at his place (which I would love to but then, I have to look after my ageing parents).

And to add more to my problems, I have a strong feeling to continue my studies to a further level. But right now my income doesn't really allow me to do so. I am really interested to get a master's degree in Software Engineering or maybe do a research on Distributed / Parallel Computing which is my actual main job here in this company (but sadly it was put on hold by MIMOS). Any financtial institution out there want to offer sponsorship for my studies?LOL.

Time's wasting..got to go..my moonlighting client is waiting at a mamak restaurant.

Torn within..

2008-05-27T11:55:00.004+08:00

aku tak mahu menjadi lalang..
mudah condong ditiup bayu..

aku tak mahu menjadi pantai..
mudah berubah dihempas ombak..

tapi apa daya ku..

kelembutan sang bayu mempersona..
hempasan sang ombak manja meruntun jiwa..
dan aku..hanyut dibuai keindahan..
yg pernah hilang satu ketika..
sekonyong timbul kembali..
dengan munculnya sang dewi..
memarakkan semula bara yg hampir hilang bahangnya..

maafkan daku..

Vertigo

2008-05-23T11:45:00.008+08:00

2 songs that was dedicated to me from someone that I thought was long gone and reappeared suddenly a few weeks ago after about 9 years..and with her appearance, she gave me a seriously mixed and messed up feelings...not to mention the shivers she sent down my spine...

KRU - Untukmu

Untukmu - KRU

Angin bayu membawa diriku
Sepintas lalu ku terkenangkanmu
Memori silam meresap malam
Kenangan bersama tersimpan selamanya

Walaupun kau pergi
Jauh dari diri ini
Cintaku masih bersemadi di hati
Keyakinan kita kan kembali
Menghidupkan semula
Janji bara cinta
Kita bersama mengejar mimpi
Terpisah sementara ku pasti
Suatu hari nanti
Cinta kita bersemi
Kembali menerangi
Mekar di taman hati
Walaupun jauh pandangan mata
Ku yakin kau kan tetap setia
Begitulah ku jua
Keikhlasan dijiwa
Dan cintaku hanyalah
Untukmu

Saban hari diri ku menunggu
Khabar berita darimu di sana
Gerimis senja kembali reda
Kerinduan di jiwa
Kau jadi penawar

Rinduku padamu
Tak dapat ku terkata
Setiap saat waktu
Bagai terlalu lama
Bila kita kembali bersama
Hiduplah semula
Janji bara cinta

Mimpi yang dikejar
Telah pun menjadi nyata..

Faizal Tahir - Aku Punya Kamu

Aku Punya Kamu - Faizal Tahir

Saat kau tersenyum
Saat itu kau memberi
Saat ku rasa bahgia

Selama ku tersenyum
Selama itu ku memberi
Selama yang kamu di sini

Namun ku bicara hanya pada
Bulan dan suria tak ku punya cara
Untuk menyatakan cinta

Dan kamu hanyalah satu
Ku mahu ada kamu saja
Bisaku menunggumu
Selamanya aku milikmu
Takkan pernah lelahku menunggu
Hingga aku punya kamu

Sesaat kau tiada
Saat itu yang ku rasa
Saat hidupku terlena

Selama yang kau ada
Selama itu ku yang rasa
Selama hidupku bahagia

Namun ku bicara hanya pada
Bulan dan suria tak ku punya cara
Untuk menyatakan cinta

Dan kamu hanyalah satu
Ku mahu ada kamu saja
Bisaku menunggumu
Selamanya aku milik mu
Takkan pernah lelahku menunggu
Hingga aku punya kamu

Selama yang pernah
Ku merasa belum ada rasa yang ku rasa ini
Fahamilah cinta ku lebih dari cinta
Tiada mungkin aku kan teruja
Andai bukan kamu yang di hadapanku
Bisaku buktikan pada kamu

Yang kamu hanyalah satu
Dan tak pernah lelah ku menunggumu
Hingga aku punya kamu
Selamanya
Aku milikmu
Takkan pernah lelah ku menunggu
Hingga punya kamu

The meeting with the dentist

2008-04-21T22:31:00.004+08:00

After so many years, today, I visited the dentist. All because of the gap in my last molar tooth in the left side of the lower jaw. Actually, the hole was really small but noticeable. This was 3 years ago. I didn't do anything as it didn't bother me much. Until quarter of the chewing surface caved in last Saturday while I was eating kerepek. Haha. Imagine that suddenly while chewing the kerepek, there was a loud cracking sound and suddenly you find yourself biting on a very hard thing. Spit it out and found a white piece that have a smooth surface on one side and rough on the other side. How come a kerepek be something like that? and to your horror, you noticed that something's wrong and found that white thing was part of your teeth. Haha.

So when i look into the mirror at that particular tooth, I was horrified to see that it left a
deep hole. And thus, the meeting with the dentist today. Luckily it still can be rescued by a simple filling procedure. What a relief! I was worried that I need to undergo the Root Canal Therapy as I don't want it to be extracted (i dont want to wear dentures!!). Not to forget that the therapy alone (i think it should be called surgery) can cost up to rm800 minus other charges/procedures.

I always hear people say that if a tooth is decaying, other teeth will be affected. Luckily, the dentist told me that all my other tooth have no problem at all. Haha.
Lesson learned: If you noticed even a small hole in your tooth, consult your dentist immediately.

A poem by Abu Nawas - Al-I'tiraf (Acknowledgement)

2008-04-04T12:00:00.007+08:00

God, I don't deserve your paradise,
but I can't withstand your hellfire,
so allow me to repent and forgive my sins,
as You are the Forgiver of Sins.

My sins is as much as the sands at the beach,
so allow me to repent oh He Who Have All The Greatness
my lifetime decreases each and everyday,
but my sins increases, I can't help it

God, this sinful servant of Yours comes to face You
Indeed I have sinned and I ask of You,
If you forgive indeed You are the Forgiver of Sins,
but if You refuse, to whom should we pray to other than You.

FITNA: the idiocy of Geert Wilders

2008-04-02T22:29:00.005+08:00

I've just finished watching FITNA, the controversial short Islamophobic movie made by Geert Wilders, the Dutch politician who is so stupid that it is impossible to describe in words on how idiot he is. Why? well, yes the verses that he took from the Quran did exist but he purposely didn't take the whole context of what is the real meaning of the verse. It's like you suddenly take a sentence from a middle of a story without really stating on what really happened in the story.

Want some proof? Ok..

the first verse that the idiot Wilders took: Surah 8 (Al-Anfaal - The Spoils of war), verse 60:
Against them make ready your strength to the utmost of your power, including steeds of war, to strike terror into (the hearts of) the enemies, of Allah and your enemies, and others besides, whom ye may not know, but whom Allah doth know. Whatever ye shall spend in the cause of Allah, shall be repaid unto you, and ye shall not be treated unjustly.

ooh...scary isn't it?..Islam teaches no mercy and savagery..but wait..here's the following verses of the same surah:

But if the enemy incline towards peace, do thou (also) incline towards peace, and trust in Allah. for He is One that heareth and knoweth (all things).(61)

Should they intend to deceive thee,- verily Allah sufficeth thee: He it is That hath strengthened thee with His aid and with (the company of) the Believers;(62)

And (moreover) He hath put affection between their hearts: not if thou hadst spent all that is in the earth, couldst thou have produced that affection, but Allah hath done it: for He is Exalted in might, Wise.(63)

well, that's it for the first verse Wilders misrepresent. Here's the second verse that he took from the Quran: (An-Nisa' - Women) verse 56:
Those who reject our Signs, We shall soon cast into the Fire: as often as their skins are roasted through, We shall change them for fresh skins, that they may taste the penalty: for Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

again..scary..but have a look at the whole story:

Or do they envy mankind for what Allah hath given them of his bounty? but We had already given the people of Abraham the Book and Wisdom, and conferred upon them a great kingdom.(54)

Some of them believed, and some of them averted their faces from him: And enough is Hell for a burning fire.(55)

Those who reject our Signs, We shall soon cast into the Fire: as often as their skins are roasted through, We shall change them for fresh skins, that they may taste the penalty: for Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.(56)

But those who believe and do deeds of righteousness, We shall soon admit to Gardens, with rivers flowing beneath,- their eternal home: Therein shall they have companions pure and holy: We shall admit them to shades, cool and ever deepening.(57)

unless you're really stupid and blind, you'll see that the 'We' in the verses refers to God Himself. Not us the puny humans that He created with His Greatness. Ok, now on to the third verse that the idiot quote: surah 47, verse 4 (Muhammad:4):

Therefore, when ye meet the Unbelievers (in fight), smite at their necks; At length, when ye have thoroughly subdued them, bind a bond firmly (on them): thereafter (is the time for) either generosity or ransom: Until the war lays down its burdens. Thus (are ye commanded): but if it had been Allah.s Will, He could certainly have exacted retribution from them (Himself); but (He lets you fight) in order to test you, some with others. But those who are slain in the Way of Allah,- He will never let their deeds be lost.

Look carefully at the whole context of the verse. Wilders only took a part of it which proves the weakness in his argument. Why didn't he took the whole verse and not just partial?The only explanation is, look at the whole verse and try to understand it.

Therefore, when ye meet the Unbelievers in a battle, smite at their necks; At length, when ye have thoroughly subdued them, bind a bond firmly (on them): thereafter (is the time for) either generosity or ransom until the war lays down its burdens. Thus (are ye commanded): but if it had been Allah.s Will, He could certainly have exacted retribution from them (Himself); but (He lets you fight) in order to test you, some with others. But those who are slain in the Way of Allah,- He will never let their deeds be lost.

So, did the Quran told us to keep no prisoners, slaughter them and chop off their limbs like animals at the slaghterhouses?NO!..but the Quran told us to be generous or take ransom of them until the war finally ends.

now on the next verse that Wilders the mad took from the Quran in his losing effort to prove that He's right. Surah 4, (An-Nisa'- Women) verse 89:

They but wish that ye should reject Faith, as they do, and thus be on the same footing (as they): But take not friends from their ranks until they flee in the way of Allah (From what is forbidden). But if they turn renegades, seize them and slay them wherever ye find them; and (in any case) take no friends or helpers from their ranks;-

Just as the first verse he took, here's the following verse of it:

Except those who join a group between whom and you there is a treaty (of peace), or those who approach you with hearts restraining them from fighting you as well as fighting their own people. If Allah had pleased, He could have given them power over you, and they would have fought you: Therefore if they withdraw from you but fight you not, and (instead) send you (Guarantees of) peace, then Allah Hath opened no way for you (to war against them).(90)

LOL..Wilders got pwned again..now the last verse, back to the 8th surah (Al-Anfaal - The spoils of war) verse 39:
And fight them on until there is no more tumult or oppression, and there prevail justice and faith in Allah altogether and everywhere; but if they cease, verily Allah doth see all that they do.

if you look back at Wilder's translation, I'd say he purposely left a 'tiny' bit of translation and twisted the trasnlation of that particular verse. Here's his idiotic version of translation:

Fight them until there is no dissension and the religion is entirely Allah's.

He again purposely took the verse partially. it's already very clear. He only wants to make people who are arabic illiterate to believe and trust in his weak agenda that Islam equals terror.
*yawn*...another futile attempt..only idiots and blind would really believe on his agenda.

Bear in mind that the Quran is not just a text of stories like those storybooks. But the Quran is written in the form of poetry.You can't just take a verse from a poem to understand the whole meaning and what the poem is all about. You have to read and understand the whole poem itself.

well..Geert Wilders, you phailed miserably..anyway, better luck next time..but I doubt that will happen as God Himself promised that there is no way the Quran can be misrepresented as it is His words Himself.

Headhunted!

2008-03-12T02:30:00.003+08:00

I don't know why, but for the past 2 weeks, I've been receiving calls and sms mesages from people inviting me to apply for positions at their company. It felt kinda weird but great. LOL. Don't know how they got my contact number (didn't bother to ask but 2 of them actually come from jobstreet.com) . 1 from a local finance institute, 1 from a local startup and another 3 came from multinational companies. All of them offering salary far higher than my current salary and my expected salary by the time I want to leave the company.

Now, I'm in such a dilemma.
Should I go, or should I stay? I have made great friends here, have a lot of good time chatting during lunch (I think it's not just during lunch, but nearly the whole office hours..haha) and I planned to stay at least for a year here but these offers are really tempting and the location are also nearer to my current residency. Not to mention that I can actually get to buy a house and my own car faster than what I've planned. They even offered to 'buy' me out from my current workplace if I fulfill their requirements in the interview. Hmm.. I think I need to consult with my family about this.

But still the question is, how did they get my contact number?Did my freelancing activities actually made me popular?haha..Maybe I should really setup my own IT company after this. LOL.

Anyway, a lot of thanks and praise be to the Almighty for these blessings that I've been receiving. I'm such a happy guy.. =)

Politics

2008-03-10T21:24:00.003+08:00

Haha..the current hottest issue in the media and among the people right now.
I still remember that I was ignorant of the issue. To me, politics are dirty and all that are related to it are nonsense and useless. I even became anti political talks during my 'younger' days.

But everything have changed since I graduated and joined the world of job. Ever since I got my job, my parents stopped giving me money for everything. It was expected of course and I had a little trouble to manage my finance during that time. I can say it is a little problem because previously during my studies, I've worked part time as a freelance technician and programmer to cover my living cost at the private learning institute. Doesn't bother me much during that period as my parents still give me pocket money.

Well, now I have to manage everything myself. Got to make plans for my future. Invested my money in unit trust, get an insurance and the next thing is to open a Tabung Haji account so that one day, I'll be able to perform the fifth pillar of faith; the Hajj. Not to mention that I have to save for getting myself a car and a house. And yeah, getting married will also going to cost me a lot of cash.

So what does all of these have to do with politics?
If we are observant enough, politics do have something to do with our life. For most of us, it will be so indirect that we wont really feel it. Only those that are really observant can see the relation between politics and our life.

Let me give an example, a crony of a political figure suddenly having trouble with his/her business, surely of course, the political figure will feel obliged to help. So where do you think they can get money easily from? The people's money of course! and mind you that the normally, political figures have families or cronies that are involved in businesses that deals with hundred thousands to billions of currency values. To cover that up, they'll start to increase the price, cut the subsidy for the people or 'stealing' funds from the any monetary institution that they control.
and then, it was really us who have to suffer for their losses.

That's not all. Now comes the racial issues. Every time the general election season comes, those political figures starts to threat the people with a long past history of tragedy which occurred nearly 40 years ago. In my views, come on! it's been 40 years. the young generations although some of us are a bit racist (still, thanks to their stagnant mind of their elders and political leaders) but I really don't think that we'll start to kill each other like they did during that time. I mean, hey, it was 40 years ago and during that time, yeah, the other races are outsiders and don't really understand the customs and the law of the natives. But this is 2008, nearly 40 years have passed and we lived with each other for so many long and surely have learn to work with each other. I myself have quite a number of friends of other races and I don't think I want to kill them just because of the ghost from the past.

Well, right now, i just hope that this is the dawn of the new Malaysia. And let this be a lesson for those who lose that they should not be arrogant and they should remember, it is the people who elected them to be leaders, and they should serve the people. Heck, we should change the term 'government servant' to 'the people's servant'. Having said that, they should know their actual place. In my views, that is what true democracy means.

Are You a Professional?

2008-02-26T15:11:00.002+08:00

How you look, talk, write, act and work determines whether you are a professional or an amateur. Society does not emphasize the importance of professionalism, so people tend to believe that amateur work is normal. Many businesses accept less-than-good results.

Schools graduate students who cannot read. You can miss 15% of the driving-test answers and still get a driver license. "Just getting by" is an attitude many people accept. But it is the attitude of amateurs.

"Don't ever do anything as though you were an amateur.

"Anything you do, do it as a Professional to Professional standards.

"If you have the idea about anything you do that you just dabble in it, you will wind up with a dabble life. There'll be no satisfaction in it because there will be no real production you can be proud of.

"Develop the frame of mind that whatever you do, you are doing it as a professional and move up to professional standards in it.

"Never let it be said of you that you lived an amateur life.

"Professionals see situations and they handle what they see. They are not amateur dabblers.

"So learn this as a first lesson about life. The only successful beings in any field, including living itself, are those who have a professional viewpoint and make themselves and ARE professionals" — L. Ron Hubbard

A professional learns every aspect of the job. An amateur skips the learning process whenever possible.

A professional carefully discovers what is needed and wanted. An amateur assumes what others need and want.

A professional looks, speaks and dresses like a professional. An amateur is sloppy in appearance and speech.

A professional keeps his or her work area clean and orderly. An amateur has a messy, confused or dirty work area.

A professional is focused and clear-headed. An amateur is confused and distracted.

A professional does not let mistakes slide by. An amateur ignores or hides mistakes.

A professional jumps into difficult assignments. An amateur tries to get out of difficult work.

A professional completes projects as soon as possible. An amateur is surrounded by unfinished work piled on top of unfinished work.

A professional remains level-headed and optimistic. An amateur gets upset and assumes the worst.

A professional handles money and accounts very carefully. An amateur is sloppy with money or accounts.

A professional faces up to other people’s upsets and problems. An amateur avoids others’ problems.

A professional persists until the objective is achieved. An amateur gives up at the first opportunity.

A professional produces more than expected. An amateur produces just enough to get by.

A professional produces a high-quality product or service. An amateur produces a medium-to-low quality product or service.

A professional earns high pay. An amateur earns low pay and feels it’s unfair.

A professional has a promising future. An amateur has an uncertain future.

Are you a professional?

Love vs Obsession

2008-02-17T03:06:00.004+08:00

haha..some weird topic i have here..we profess that we love someone..but do we ever wonder is it really love that we feel or is it something else?some may say that love comes with obsession and it is quite the same thing..

But after all that I've had throughout my life..my opinion is that these two things are very different.

Obsession, is a state where we are being emotionally excessive and very selfish. We want to control the life of another, gaining happiness by doing all that we can so that the other person will do what we want exclusively for our own.

We 'romantically' chase, pursue - at times, even physically stalk - those we profess to "love." When we engage in relationships with new partners, we tend to be so possessive in our manner of "loving" that they inevitably run for the door to escape what they perceive to be an extremely oppressive and, essentially, unloving atmosphere.

If obsession=love, I rather not have it in my life at all. This is not loving. On the intuitive level, this is emotional obsession in its most dangerous and destructive form, so far removed from genuine love that we can't even categorize it as obsession due to the level of psychosis involved. Again, I highlight the word here..PSYCHOSIS.

Love, in my definition is when you want someone to be happy..with, or without you in the picture of their happiness. If we are genuinely in love with someone, we put their happiness before our own. We feel their pain, their sadness, their sorrow..We give the person all that we have just to make that person happy..even though we're not one of the active participants in their future lives.

We want these individuals to be genuinely happy as they live their lives - with or without us - because we are capable of truly loving them that much.

Loving, should be unselfish. Why? Well, if you really think that love is a sacred thing, then, it should be that way. How can we consider something selfish to be sacred? isn't that very much contradicting?

When we say, "I can't live without this person in my life," we aren't expressing love but instead, extreme dependency on another individual. We are obsessed and parasitic in the way we feel about that individual. We have focused the essence of our lives on the lives of our partners and are basically feeding off them as they pursue their own happiness in life.

We virtually have no identity for ourselves when we live this way. We are so focused on that partner and what he or she does in an attempt to be happy that we have no idea what it means to make ourselves happy. We are, plainly speaking, living our lives through the lives of others, which is a very unhealthy way to live.

Genuine love will never grow from such an unhealthy way of life, only greater dependency and deeper unhappiness is fostered in the end.

Love, is about sincerity. And sincerity means that we should expect nothing in return. Sounds foolish? but that, is what it truly means so to say. That, is what L.O.V.E means.

But then, people start asking, what about 'true love'? Well, that's easy. It's the love thing + commitment. Commitment means a pledge of trust. And this involves honor. when we pledge something, we put our honor into it. if we ever broke it, it means that we dishonor ourselves.

Love, is about being tolerant,sincerity,trust and respect..give and take..If you want true love..that's what you have to do..or else, you're not really loving someone..but in fact, you are treating them like some kind of thing which is the wrong meaning of love..at least in my opinion..haha..

Ireport and non ISO-8859-1 characters

2008-01-17T17:57:00.000+08:00

If we want to produce a report using Ireport in other language with a different character set than the standard English in PDF(Vietnamese,Chinese,Japanese, etc.) , we need to use a font that supports UTF-8 encoding (for example, Arial) if we want to make sure that the characters prints out correctly.

Let say that we need to set the PDF font to Arial. It won't be in the dropdown list if we don't copy it to Ireport's lib folder. Once done, right click on the field that we want to be displayed in the other character set and view the properties. Go to the Font tab and select Arial from the dropdown list of the PDF Font Name field. Put a tick on the PDF Embedded check box and select :y-H (Unicode with horizontal writing). Save and compile the file.

Lastly, be sure to put the font file in your application's classpath or the report will be blank as it can't find the font to embed to the PDF file.

Confirmed!

2007-12-18T01:26:00.000+08:00

Today, early in the morning, my boss called me. At first I thought I'm in some kind of trouble as Woon Fei's tone was quite serious (in a way that I thought I was in trouble..haha..silly me)..compared to the others, I think I'm the only one who got confirmed in the shortest period as I once remembered Yih Ching says something about being in the ASIP (Applied Skills Internship Program) is also considered as being under probation..

Here goes my official career commencement! anyway, no salary increment is the only drawback. So I still have to continue doing freelance work for the extra income.

Anyway, praise be to God for all His blessings that He bestowed upon me..

Everyday..

2007-12-04T00:43:00.001+08:00

And I..
Was the kind of guy..
Who'd never let you look inside...
I'd smile when I was crying...
I had nothing but a lot to lose...
Thought I had a lot to prove...
In my life, there's no denying..

Goodbye to all my yesterdays...
They're gone...
Goodbye, so long...

And I...
had enough of cryin'...
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'...
I'm Gonna live my life everyday...
I'm gonna touch the sky...
spread these wings and fly...
I'm gonna live my life everyday

Change, everybody's feeling strange..
Never gonna be the same...
Makes you wonder how the world keeps turning..
Life, learning how to live my life..
Learning how to pick my fights..
Take my shots while I'm still burning..

Goodbye to all those rainy nights...
They're gone..
Goodbye, so long...

And I..
Had enough of cryin'...
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'...
I'm gonna live my life everyday...
I'm gonna touch the sky..
And I spread these wings and fly..
I'm gonna live my life..

Hit the gas, take the wheel..
I've made myself a deal...
Ain't nothing gonna get in my way..
Everyday

Goodbye to all my yesterdays...
They're gone...

And I...
Had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'..
I'm gonna live my life everyday..
I'm gonna touch the sky..
And spread these wings and fly..
I'm gonna live my life everyday...

How to install Sun's JDK in Fedora 8

2007-12-02T21:17:00.002+08:00

By default, Fedora will use GNU's version of JDK which is gcj.

To verify this, check the version by running java -version in the console and it will return
something like this :
java version "1.5.0"
gij (GNU libgcj) version 4.1.2 20070925 (Red Hat 4.1.2-33)

Copyright (C) 2006 Free Software Foundation, Inc.
This is free software; see the source for copying conditions. There is NO
warranty; not even for MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.

to install Sun's JDK on Fedora 8,

1. Download the Linux self extracting rpm version of JDK from Sun's website.
Let say the rpm name is jdk-6u3-linux-i586-rpm.bin

2. Fire up the console and change directory to where the downloaded rpm is located

3. Change to root by using su and enter your root's password

4. Change the permission of the file by using chmod 755 jdk-6u3-linux-i586-rpm.bin

5. Run the file using the command ./jdk-6u3-linux-i586-rpm.bin

6. Scroll all the way down and enter yes

7. Next, enter updatedb; locate javac |grep bin
It will show you a path to the newly installed Sun's JDK.

8. Next, run these commands
/usr/sbin/alternatives --install /usr/bin/java java /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_03/bin/java 100
/usr/sbin/alternatives --install /usr/bin/jar jar /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_03/bin/jar 100
/usr/sbin/alternatives --install /usr/bin/javac javac /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_03/bin/javac 100

9. Lastly, to change the default JVM from gcj to Sun's version, run this command
/usr/sbin/alternatives --config java
Select the one that is from Sun and that's it!

Edit: I forgot something. There's a bug but I'm not sure whether it's Sun's or Fedora's.
but here's the fix: enter this command:
sed -i 's/XINERAMA/FAKEEXTN/g' /lib/i386/xawt/libmawt.so

Edit 2: The bug seems to be caused by libx11 having problems with assertions.
upgrade libxcb via yum and it should be fixed. The version at the moment of this edit is libxcb-1.0-4.fc8

Path of my future..

2007-12-02T02:36:00.000+08:00

Actually, there's not much to say here. Just got back from the movies with a couple of friends. Been doing that like on every weekends since last month.

Well, I'm not going to say anything about the movies here. But I've been wondering. On what my future is like. What,where and who am I going to be. A lot of my friends says that it's still early to think about these stuffs as we've just started out in our careers but I can't help myself not to think about it.

There's a long road in front of me and only God knows what will come in my way. Hope that my faith will sustain me and I will get through somehow.

Java web application Internationalization @ i18n

2007-11-25T03:52:00.000+08:00

In order for an application to support i18n, generally, all of the permanent hard-coded text must be turned into labels and the actual text should be stored in a properties file commonly known as Application Resource or Resource Bundle.

The next step is, to declare that the view components (html/jsp/jsf) are using the UTF-8 encoding. This is very important as UTF-8 encoding supports most typeface (fonts) if not all of the languages in the world.

For static html. this can be done by using the meta tag in the

< head >

tag. example:

< meta equiv="Content-Type" content="" charset="utf-8" >

for the jsp/jsf, we can use this scriptlet before the < html > tag:
<%@ page contentType="text/html; charset=UTF-8" %>

if we are using struts as our web framework, we can skip doing the tedious and boring job of adding each of the pages with the scriptlet codes by adding this code in our struts-config.xml:

< controller contenttype="text/html; charset=UTF-8">

For the struts part, it will only work if none of the jsp/jsf skips the controller servlet. (direct linking from page to page without using global forwards).

If the Resource files are in a language that uses characters other than the normal English characters, we must convert them into Unicode ASCII characters. for example, if we have a Resource file that contains Chinese characters. In this case, we must convert it into Unicode ASCII characters.

to do this, we can use the native2ascii program that comes with the JDK itself. If we have already set the environment variable to point to our JDK directory, then we can already invoke the native2ascii command from anywhere.

Anyway, here's an example on how to convert a resource file with Chinese characters named ApplicationResources_cn.properties to Unicode ASCII encoding.

native2ascii -encoding UTF-8 ApplicationResources_zh.properties ApplicationResources_zh.properties.

Open the file again and you will see that the Chinese characters are now converted into sequences of \uxxxx. Don't worry, it will display fine when you deployed it in your web container and run it in your web browser.

Cherating - company trip

2007-11-05T06:45:00.000+08:00

I just got back from Cherating, Pahang. It was really tiring but I had a lot of fun although I do feel a bit bored at certain times. It was company trip. Something like a family day where we get into teams and play against each other.

The journey took about 4 hours from KL, from the Patimas office to be exact. Although I only slept for about 4 hours the night before, I didn't feel sleepy at all. Arrived at Suria Beach Resort, Cherating around 5.30pm and checked in. I got the room 231 all for myself as my should be roommate decided not to come (I think, or maybe I am given the room for myself..LOL). Went down to the team 'war cry' at 6 and had dinner at an open air lounge at 8. The food was quite okay and after the selection of games, (I was drafted to play beach soccer. Damn, what I really wanted is to play paintball) i just went back to my room, had a nice warm shower and lay down for a while when later at 12 I decided to go for a walk around the hotel compound. So I went to the lobby with the intent of watching the large TV there (it can tune to channels that the TVs in the hotel rooms don't have) when suddenly a guy (I forgot to ask his name) came and told me that some people invited me to their room and it turns out to be Woon Fei and Jian Li and they invited me to join them playing cards. I don't know what the game was called but it's good enough to kill the time. Around 1am, I went back to my room and tuned in to Cinemax and watched Dragonheart: A New Beginning. Quite a nice movie but it doesn't suit to be labeled as an action film. I went to dreamland around 2.30am.

The next day, I woke up at 730am. Tune in to MTv, took a warm shower, get dressed up and straight away headed to the lounge for breakfast. Chatted with a few guys and later head directly to the games venue. First half of the day, I was already exhausted. It's been a long time since I played any sports. Not to mention that it has been a long time since I exercised (LOL).
By the way, my soccer team loses big time. Most that made up the team are old timers and the yougsters (including me) are not in good shape at all to play stamina draining games like that.

Being sneaky, I went back to my room at 1145am, took another warm shower to ease my aching muscles and took a nap. Woke up at 2pm, missed my lunch (I don't have the appetite to eat anyway with all the muscle cramps and ache) and continued the other half of the day with the tele-matches which aggravated my muscle pain. But I rather enjoyed the tug of war. It's not that tiring. Maybe it's because that during all theses years, only my stamina is drained, and not the strength that I acquired during my younger years practicing the martial arts (LOL). After all is done, I went for a swim at both the sea and later, hotel's swimming pool.

After the dinner and the prize giving ceremony, (my team, the Thundercats got the 2nd place) I hang out with my PSG colleague: Jocelyn, Chen Hao and Yih Ching at the beach, looking at hermit crabs and Anselm went into the waters to see if there's any planctons there (and yeah, there was a lot of them). Later on, we loiter at the lounge having some chit chat with Susan andn Mei Yan. Yih Ching was so enthusiastic on going to the stage for karaoke (i don't do karaokes, I don't have a beautiful voice but Yih Ching's enthusiasm and her really cute face when she smiles made me unable to resist on not to follow..LOL) when some of the other male colleagues (from HPD, i think), got really dead drunk and forced us (not including me, I ran away to the next table just in time) to drink liquor. I was like WTH??? I don't care if it's your birthday or what but forcing people against their will is really wrong. Not to mention that they're making a fool of themselves with their stupid, 'disturbing' and really disgusting acts. Just because of that, we had to cancel the karaoke plan and moved to the lobby. Had a nice chit chat about many things including ghost stories and Anselm joined us again while playing pool (which i lost twice with him, badly.. LOL)

Earlier, we planned to watch the sunrise together but since it was so late (it was 2 am when we went back to our rooms) and I forgot who answered 'no' when I asked again that were we to continue the plan so since I am already determined to see the sunrise at the beach, (it's already 10 years since my last time) i woke up at 530, took a long nice refreshing warm shower,performed the morning prayer and head out to beach. The sky was really clear with only a bit of clouds and it was really starry. I got to see the first light of dawn, it was really beautiful. Red, violet, blue and black in a colour gradient with twinkling stars and I was there sitting on the sand staring at the scenery, enjoying the song of the waves. Around 6am, I went back to my room to pack up my things, and took a nap before the breakfast and around 1030am, we departed back to KL.

and now I'm having stiff muscles and the pain is undescribable. I had a hard time getting myself up from the bed. LOL.

That's all for now. Time to get ready for work.

on anti-hadith...

2007-10-16T09:46:00.000+08:00

hmm..i felt being called to write something after reading certain blogs. The one that catched my attention today was a blog that debates on the Quran and the hadith. Seriously I don't understand what's worng with these people.

So here, I just want to write my own knowledge on the subject. I'm lazy to participate in the debate on that blog as most of the replies are nonsensical..most of the are by those anti-hadith group. They even said the way we pray is just a tradition as it is not mentioned in the Quran!

the 2nd of the Pillars of Faith: Have faith in the Rasul.

having faith in the Rasul includes having faith in what He did and said (The Hadith).
If we no longer have faith in it, that the faith is void..(Na'udzubillahi min zalik)

The Rasul (PBUH) said: I have left you two matters, that if you adhere to them, you will not go astray, the Quran, and my Sunnah (Hadith).

the way we perform out prayers is just tradition??Astaghfirullah..
Rasul (PBUH) said: Perform your prayers the way you see I performed it.

if we want to talk about sensitive issues like religous matters, be sure that we have enough knowledge, learn and the correct place and from the correct person. Only by doing that we conforms to the meaning of fair and just: to place something at its correct place.

"And if you have arguments in a matter, then return to Allah (the Quran) and Ar-Rasul(the Hadith), if you have faith in Allah and The Day" - An-Nisa:59

"whoever learns (on religious matters) without a teacher, then Satan will be the teacher" - Al-Hadith

the conclusion: think about it, I'm not even an expert in religious matters, even my basics is not perfect, realizing this, I won't dare debate on things up to the level like those people in do in that blog. Astaghfirullah..

huru-hara

2007-10-09T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hari ni adalah hari yg paling huru hara aku pernah rasa. dengan puasa lagi. Kerja modify hard coded text dalam report jadi labels tu adalah satu kerja yg menekan jiwa. why didn't they ask those data entry staffs to do it rather than asking me to carry out that silly job? Why didn't they thought of supporting i18n at the first place when they were developing the application? We claim to be servicing international companies and yet this is like it is the first time an i18n project is carried out?duhh..

Thank God they have the berbuka puasa event today. The tentative is quite ridiculous (karaoke after berbuka puasa? what the heck??) but I'm in for the food anyway and again thank God that the food was really good.

I received my business name cards today. but again, as the title, huru hara..why? okay,they got my name and my title right. But since when did I have a new mobile number?Is the company going to give me a new phone line?and heck, since when did I have a direct line?I rather not have a phone line at my desk. From my past experience, it will only serve as distraction during work..urgh..this is so messed up..

Importance of software documentation

2007-09-26T16:17:00.000+08:00

I believe that in regard to this matter, are mostly ignored by software developers in Malaysia.
At the moment, I am to assist the rest of the Java developers team that are working on the eQuity Online internationalization (i18n) project. The thing that really bothers me and nearly made me scream out of anguish is the serious lack of code documentation and also of the quite poor design.

Although the system works fine and marvelously as one of our directors commented during a meeting I attended 2 weeks ago, I found that the code underneath was poorly written and poorly documented. And now we're going to modify it to support i18n and I am pulling my hairs and trying to figure out what each functions do and what's not.

For the love of God, at least put some sensible comment on the codes on what it do and at least provide the Javadoc. It can be auto-generated for God's sake! As if the mixture of scriptlets, html and javascript is not enough to add up the 'coolness' of the codes.

It's more than just spaghetti codes. It is a ball of mud!

So you guy out there whose works have anything to do with software development, do put some thought on this matter!

in between..

2007-09-25T19:37:00.000+08:00

Received a call from Jocelyn (Java developer team leader) at 8am sharp asking me where to park her motorbike. Whoa, she actually arrive at the office that early and that time I was still at home getting ready for the day. Talk about fast.

well, ain't much work for today. Today's progress of the BladeCenters started at noon so I had some sweet time surfing the internet for entertainment which I usually don't have much time to during office hours except searching for solutions to any algorithm that I'm developing and to my dismay, I was caught by Jocelyn who was actually sitting next to my partition and she began asking me to help the EO team on some coding task. So much for my sweet time. Anyway, I won't complain as I myself agreed to help. By the way, I don't have much work to do either.

I wonder when will I be really doing some R&D stuffs on that grid computing thing. It does interest me a lot but juggling between two separate job scope for the time is not really easy for me. Have been trying to do some research on my own at home, but other things kept me from it. Anyway, people do say that we shouldn't bring office work to home.

Being a Software Engineer but doing nothing in exception for maintaining existing software is not a good idea for me. This time, I wonder when will we be doing some development of new applications. That, would be the thing that will suit my likings and that would really put to use of my skills.

I wonder......

On MIMOS' BladeCenter

2007-09-24T17:04:00.001+08:00

It's my third time going to MIMOS just to supervise the installation of the IBM Blade Center H.
For those who don't know, a Blade Center is categorized as high end server. My company had this contract to provide and maintain the Blade Center for MIMOS for 3 years. The total stuffs adds up to a sum of RM 3.6M. That's the most expensive machine that I've ever handled and helped to install. Each BladeCenter will have 14 blades, each blades are equipped with 2 dual core Opterons and 16GB of ECC RAM. Imagine the processing power that each of the BladeCenter have.

The 7 BladeCenters will be used in the Grid Computing project. The one me and my half time superior will be researching on. Well, I'll going to have a lot of readings on SOA (Service Oriented Architecture) to do before going to the development part. Meanwhile, at the same time, I have to deploy a test machine for the IBFM application internationalization project as we need to do some serious testing before going live and deliver it to Vietnam. Raya is around the corner now and with all that holidays, I'll have pretty limited time work on it. This will be really messy.

Ok. that's all the input for today. Gotta go or else I'll have to squeeze myself through the heavy traffic to get home.

- untitled -

2007-09-24T16:58:00.000+08:00

Ever felt like wanting to be reincarnated again?
Well, this is what I feel when I decided to start posting again after the long silence..
Wiped out all the old posts, start out a brand new one again..
What's done is done, so let bygone be bygone..
So here I go..